2014 Dear Younger Me Campaign: Open Letter to Tiara,

DEAR TIARA….

YOU’RE IN COLLEGE NOW…YOU’RE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE….WHEN YOU WERE IN GRADE SCHOOL…WITH BRACES, ACNE AND YOU WERE GETTING TEASED FOR BEING FAT… NOBODY GAVE ANY DAMN ABOUT WHETHER YOU HAD SEX OR NOT… BUT NOW… YOU HAVE THIS MAKEOVER… NOW EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW THE LATEST NEWS…. AND REALLY IT ISN’T ANY…. YOU’RE ONLY 19… YOU’RE LEGAL.. BUT YOU’RE STILL NOT “GROWN” YOU’RE A KID… AND AS FAR AS YOU KNOW SEX IS FOR ADULTS AND NOT CHILDREN…YOU DIDN’T EVEN GET A TALK FROM YOUR MOM ABOUT SEX.. YOU NEVER GAVE HER ANY HINTS TO WONDER IF YOU DID IT OR NOT SO WHY SHOULD SHE CARE ANYWAY RIGHT??? YOU WERE PETRIFIED OF BOYS AS A CHILD…. YOU CRIED IF ONE WAS NEAR YOU OR YOU THREW SOMETHING AT THEM.

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YOU AREN’T BORING… SAFE… SHY… OR THE NOTORIOUS ONE… “INNOCENT GOOD GIRL”…YOU’RE A COLLEGE FRESHMAN WHO WORKS IN A PIZZA PLACE THAT JUST SO HAPPENS TO NOT HAVE HAD A KISS OR SEX, BECAUSE YOU JUST HAVEN’T. YOUR MOM IS ALWAYS WONDERING IF YOU’RE GAY OR NOT BECAUSE YOU AREN’T AS BOY CRAZY OR GIRLY GIRL LIKE SHE HOPED YOU WOULD TURN OUT TO BE…. ALL KINDS OF JUDGMENTAL THINGS.

NOW AT 28 YEARS OLD…. ANY OTHER PERSON WHO IS 19 READING THIS, THE LAST THING YOU PROBABLY WANNA BE IS “DIFFERENT.”

YOU ARE TOTALLY FINE BEING A VIRGIN AT 19…. AND THE REASON WHY YOU ARE STILL A VIRGIN IS BECAUSE YOU ARE.  IT MAY BE HARD TO BELIEVE BECAUSE SEX IS ALL AROUND AND IT’S THE LATEST TREND… YOU’RE THE COOLEST THING EVER IF YOU ARE DOING IT BECAUSE THE REST YOUR AGE ARE.. BUT TRUTH BE TOLD… TIME IS WHAT BRINGS EVERYTHING YOUR WAY…NOT AGE. AND THE GLAMOUR PEOPLE SURROUND SEX WITH ISNT EVEN WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO IT ANYWAY. THERE IS NO GLAMOUR.. MOST GUYS ARE CONTROLLING AND THINK THEY CAN WIELD SEX AS A WEAPON TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE YOU’RE GONNA BE ATTACHED TO THEM BECAUSE YOU SLEPT WITH THEM FIRST… THEY TAKE THAT AND USE IT TO THEIR ADVANTAGE HOPING TO MAKE YOU THEIR NEXT CONQUEST… SEX IS ALL ABOUT SUBMISSION AND CONQUEST… HOW TO TURN SOMEONE OUT….. AND WHATEVER THIS GUY DOES IS THE DIRECTION YOU’RE GONNA GO IN WITH YOUR SEX LIFE…

BUT YOU AREN’T GUARANTEED ANYTHING SOMEONE IS ALWAYS TRYING TO BOTHER YOU ABOUT. IT’S ALL A GAME… YOU CAN DRESS LIKE A BOY AND WEAR BAGGY SWEATS AND SNEAKERS ALL YOU WANT… THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT…SOMEONE PUTTING YOU DOWN ABOUT BEING A VIRGIN IS LIKE YOU PUTTING THEM DOWN FOR NOT BEING ONE…

GIRLS COMPETE FOR SEX HARDER THAN GUYS DO…

THOSE STDs AND ABORTION STORIES ARE REAL AND YOU CAN

BE RIGHT THERE TOO HAVING ONE THE OTHER OR BOTH…

THERE ARE MEN WHO FIND MORALS AND SELF RESPECT TO BE ATTRACTIVE THINGS. IF THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT… YOU WAIT FOR THAT.

IT’S LOTS OF THINGS IN THIS WORLD THAT CAN MAKE YOUR BODY IMPURE SO THE WHOLE VIRGIN THING ISN’T A SYMBOL OF PURITY… IT’S A MYTH FOR MANIPULATION… NO MATTER WHAT STAGE IN LIFE YOU’RE IN PEER PRESSURE NEVER STOPS… YOU’RE GONNA BECOME A WOMAN IN YOUR OWN TIME AND SEX ISN’T GONNA BE A DEFINITIVE THING TO MARK YOUR PASSAGE TO WOMANHOOD… YOU MUST BECOME THE ONE YOU WANNA BE AND YOU WILL WHEN YOU’RE READY TO. SO… SEX ISN’T GONNA MAKE YOU ONE. DON’T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU AND JUST KEEP ON LIVING… WHEN EVER IT HAPPENS IT WILL. YOU ARE WORTH THE WAIT NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS….

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