Let’s Talk About Health (Part 1: Diet)


*~ MYEvents will run every Thursday evening at 6:00pm, Pacific Standard Time. ~*

*~MYGirls Blog Series will run every Friday evening at 6:00pm, Pacific Standard Time. ~*



It has been quite a while since our last MYGirls Blog Series entry.  Many factors came into play, life changes took place, and for a while, I became overwhelmed.  I wasn’t quite sure how to pull myself out of the state I was in, and in turn, I neglected you beautiful young girls.  I want to begin this new blog entry by first saying that I apologize for disappearing for such a long period of time.  Even though it is how I chose to cope with my personal circumstances, becoming silent was not my intention.  Again, pretty young girls, I apologize for my absence, and I will do all that I can in order for it to not happen again.

(I will actually further elaborate on my previous situation, in my next entry, Let’s Talk About Health (Part 2:  Mentality), which will be from first-hand personal experience.)

Today, however, we will be discussing something very important to the growth and health of all young girls around the world:  diet.



So, why is your diet so important???  Well, your health is directly related to the foods you eat.  What you consume affects your weight, height (as you are still in the growth years), hair, mood, energy, sleep patterns & comfort, defenses against diseases . . . your entire bodily system can either be enhanced or inhibited simply by what you choose to eat.  What tastes good to you, might not be good for you:  there is a difference between real food (meat from animals, fruits & vegetables from plants, whole grains, dairy products), and processed food (most fast foods like McDonald’s, imitation foods tasting like the real foods they are made to look like).  Real foods fortify your body with the proper nutrients to sustain healthy living, while processed foods are filled with empty calories, only made to make you “full.”

junk-food-vs-healthy-food-for-kids-food-wallpaper-lxildrrfAccordingly, processed foods may taste good to you, but they are not good for you, and will negatively affect your entire bodily system.

Now, while we know that processed [junk] foods affect us all the same way–negatively–it is important for us to understand that real [healthy] foods enhance us differently.  Since our bodies are different, our systems will respond to different foods in various ways, not always synonymous to others.

Therefore, there are many different diets. 1406882262

By now, we should all be familiar with the food pyramid, the chart that displays the different food groups (meat & protein, dairy, whole grains, fruit, vegetable), with a very small category for fatty, oily, and sugary foods . . . to be eaten sparingly.


Some young girls follow diets with whole grains as the largest portion to consume.


And some young girls follow diets with vegetables as the largest portion to consume.


Some young girls follow diets that separate food group components to stress a strict eating routine . . .


. . . while some young girls follow diets that eliminate food groups altogether for an even more strict routine.

pie chart of food pyramidBrilliant young girls, it is imperative to know that in order to fully understand your bodies, you must also understand how your bodies receive and react to certain foods.  Talk with your parents or guardians . . . even your counselors and/or teachers . . . about any health concerns, especially if you would like to learn news ways to follow healthy diets.  For, you need food to live . . . so, let’s vow to live long, healthy lives!


— Kahlelah, MYGirls

Finishing The Semester Off Strong



Greetings and Blessings!!

I hope you all are doing well! I hope that you all had a great and wonderful time for Thanksgiving! I hope that you all that were home for the holiday took the time to cherish the moments that was spent with loved ones. If you didn’t make it home I hope that whoever you spent the day with that you also cherished the moments that were made. We should be thankful EVERYDAY not just one day out of the year! The school year is winding down and the semester will be done with for the year. Final exams will be coming up within the first few weeks of December. I hope and pray that you all do well on your tests, exams, final projects, etc.

I hope that you all have become adjusted to being college and have gotten to experience some great moments from the first half of your freshman year. I hope that you all continue to work in finding yourselves and feeling out what you want to do in life. It is important to take this time of your life and figure out what you want to do. This is not about what others want for you. It is great to have the opinion or advice of others. But it is important to remember to follow what is in YOUR heart.

No matter what obstacle or setback that you have faced thus far continue to press and push forward towards your goals. There will be days where you think, is any of this worth it and there are times where you are wanting to give up and give in. But don’t let what comes your way stop you. Life is all about the journey so take every opportunity that is being offered and pray and seek the guidance of God about it. Keep him first in all that you do and connect yourselves with individuals that will push you, pray for you, encourage you, inspire you, etc. Be who you are meant to be and not what the world wants you to be!

Be Blessed



Holiday Survival Guide

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Greetings and Blessings!!

Hope you all are doing well! Hope the semester is going well for each of you. The time is winding down and the semester will be over with before you know it. Just wanted to share with you some tips in surviving the Thanksgiving and winter break when you return back home. I am sure that many of you are excited to get back home, sleep in your own bed, have those home cooked meals, etc. But heading home for holiday break can present some unexpected challenges. Before you left home, there was some type of structure where you may or may not had a curfew, chores, etc and now since being away at school  you’ve gained this new found freedom and blossoming independence. Going home can at times create this clash with parents and/or guardians.

Returning home for winter break although promising weeks of rest and relaxation and time with friends and family can often be a difficult adjustment for college student especially freshman. You may be used to coming and going as you please, living on your own and making your own decisions, and the biggest challenge is being back under your parents’ roof with certain expectations. You may feel as though your family will be nagging you about little things that they didn’t get to do while you were away. Also, while being home you may feel as though you can’t do what you want to do when you want to do it.

When dealing with being back home it is important to work out any issues or problems and learn how to compromise. Being able to talk things out with your family and coming to a common ground and understanding can make the winter break more pleasant. Even seeing old friends from school can present some challenges. Group dynamics may be greatly changed and can throw everyone into a bit of a funk. Fortunately, however, friendships grow and change, and seeing this “new” part of your old friends can be an exciting part of your friendship, even if it’s a little unnerving at first.


It can be quite an experience when going back home for the first time since being away from home. Things and people may not be the same as before but that is all apart of life. Enjoy this first holiday return. Enjoying spending time with the ones you love most and cherish those memories.


Be Blessed



My College Experience



Greetings and Blessings!!!

I hope you all are doing well. I also hope that you all have somewhat become adjusted to living the college life and being a freshman. School should be winding down soon because of the Holiday breaks that are coming up. But in the mean time, I hope you all are studying and completing any make-up work for this semester. In this post I wanted to share and talk with you all my college experience. Granted, it wasn’t always the best time but I wouldn’t trade in the memories I have for nothing. I started off going out of state all the way to Lincoln University in Missouri. I spent a year and a half there. It was a good experience but it was a small part town and a small university. After spending a year and a half there, I transferred to Houston, TX to attend Texas Southern University where I eventually obtain my BA from. Being in Houston and just in the state of Texas overall was a bit overwhelming because everything is so big and spacious and it takes forever and a day to get somewhere here. I felt like a small fish in a big pond. But after being here going on now years now, I have gotten pretty used to Houston and I’ve come to like it here.

Being in college has been a blessing because I have learned so much from my time there. I cherish all the memories the good and the bad ones because each has shaped me into the person that I am growing in to. I have gained a great deal of insight in finding myself and I am still in the process of finding myself. As I have written tips about not stressing and worrying about things, I was that girl who would stress or worry about things to the max. It only ended up hurting me because I didn’t take the steps that I have shared with you all in mind. But thankfully, I’ve gotten better from that. I have gain and lost friendships while I was in school. People who I thought were going to be there with and for me to the end turn out not to be and the ones I thought weren’t going to be there at all are still here today.

I changed my major twice!! I thought I knew what I wanted to do but it turns out that I had something else in mind to do as for as my career goes. There of course where people who had voiced their opinion about me changing my major. But I knew at the time that I couldn’t pay attend to that because in my heart I knew I wanted to pursue this profession and it didn’t matter what anybody else had to say or think. I went to the games and was active member of my school’s Debate Team. That was a wonderfully experience because it taught me that I have voice and that I matter. Being on the Debate Team kind of broke me out of my shell and I enjoyed going on the tournaments whether in or out of state and being able to travel out of the country to Argentina for international competition.

I believe that college is what you make it. There will be ups and down, good times, bad times but that’s all apart of life. Being in college you get to experience a number of things and opportunities. In college, you get to find out who you are and what makes you stand out from the rest. It’s not about fitting in but about finding your passion in life. It’s about going after your dreams, goals, and aspirations. I hope you all continue to strive to be the best version of you that you can be. There will be gains and there will be loses but that’s all about growing into the person you know you are meant to be.


Be Blessed


GU4AP| Join Our Team! It Doesn’t Matter Where You Are…

Good afternoon GU4AP Supporters!

We wanted to come to you today and share the different volunteer opportunities that we have currently that need to be filled before January 2015. As some of you may know we are partner with a women’s network called Queens Unite Everywhere in which caters to women 19 & up on a business and personal aspect. Check out their website and blog for more information about what they do and offer. Membership is free so mothers if you’re interested in getting involved in something positive and uplifting in which your young girl, niece or mentee will graduate into. We want you to have that support system.


Girls Unite 4 A Purpose is an organization and brand that caters to women and young girls. Mentoring Yong Girls is a mentoring program for girls 11-18 years old. We are partnered with Queens Unite Everywhere which is a fairly new online network for women anywhere in the world.

Mentoring Young Girls

-Assistant Director (Must live in the Inland Empire –Cali)

-Mentors (Must live in the Inland Empire –Cali)

-Street team (women and youth girls)

-Care Package Assistant

-Admin staff(Must live in the Inland Empire –Cali)

Email: mentoringyg@gmail.com for more information or to apply

Queens Unite Everywhere


-Event Leader

-Event members

-Blogger/Writer Admin

Email: QueensUniteEverywhere@gmail.com for more information or to apply.

We thank you for your support please help us meet these goals by either dedicating your time or sharing this information with others who may be interested.

College Post Check In



Greetings and Blessings!!

I hope you all are doing well! I hope that you all are enjoying your first semester at college and that you have become adjusted to the college life. I just wanted to check in with you all and to encourage you all to keep pressing and keep pushing through. Yes, being in college you get to experience the time of your life. But on the other hand, it can be a bit overwhelming along with stressful. I hope that you all have been checking out the previous post in learning how to deal and cope with managing stress while in college and learning how to develop effective studying skills when it comes to testing taking for your midterms and finals. We only have two more weeks left in this month and November and the Thanksgiving Holiday will be here before we know. Then it will be time to prepare and take final exams come December then the first half of the semester will be in the books. I hope that you all are taking the time in learning about yourselves as well as embracing and finding out who you are. This is the best time to find your path and find what you are passionate about. No one is expecting you to be perfect or have a perfect GPA or pass every test, exam, or quiz. Don’t let others have this high expectation of you and don’t put that on yourself. Embrace and enjoy your time in college because it is preparing you for the real world. I hope you all have a great and blessed week!!


Be Blessed


Studying Tips For Midterms/Final Exams


Greetings and Blessings!!

I hope you ladies are doing well. In this post I wanted to share and talk to you about some studying tips for midterms and final exams.  You’re already almost halfway through this term of classes, and that can only mean one thing MIDTERMS!!!!  When it comes to preparing and taking these exams it can be particularly intimidating for first year college students. Even sufficiently prepared students experience test taking anxiety. When it comes time to take midterms or final exams, it can be a very stressful time in where many students experience lack of sleep and build up so much stress and worry about being prepared for these exams. But as always, it is important to remember to NOT stress out over anything! If you don’t do well its okay you have another chance to make it up or a professor could drop your lowest grade in order to accumulate your final grade for the semester. So here are some helpful studying tips to get you prepared for midterm week and finals.


Many comprehensive final exams and midterms include some of the same questions from the tests and quizzes taken throughout the term. Therefore, it’s important to review the questions and answers from these tests and quizzes.


You can create cards to study important terms and concepts, formulas, and even quotes from reading assignments.

Study groups can be great resource when studying for midterms and finals. You and your study partners can help each other with difficult concepts or problems; you can compare notes, and help each other identify the correct answers from past quizzes and tests. Each student can bring in two practice questions and the group can work together to answer the questions and review the accompanying material. Study groups can be helpful but make sure that the group stays on track and you have accurate information.

Friends and roommates can be helpful in preparing for exams. A simple way to review for an exam and check you understanding of the material is to practice explaining the concepts to a friend or roommate. If you are able to explain a concept or formula to a friend, chances are you understand the material and will be able to address the information on an exam.

These are just some examples that can be of assistance to you in getting prepared for midterms and finals. Create your own study pattern that works for you and in a way that you understand in order to retain the information. But remember to not over do it and not to stress out! Ask for help when needed and do the best that you can.

Be Blessed


MYEvents: Thursday, October 2, 2014 – Wednesday, October 8, 2014



Hey there, bright young girls!!

*~ MYEvents will run every Thursday evening at 6:00pm, Pacific Standard Time. ~*

*~MYGirls Blog Series will run every Friday evening at 6:00pm, Pacific Standard Time. ~*


MYEvents will list all upcoming events.  They will either be free & open to the community, by RSVP, or by ticket purchase.  If you see an event listed, YOU’RE INVITED!!



Saturday, October 4, 2014 – 


Inspirational community leaders will come together with Charlotte’s Korner, Inc., to encourage, empower, and uplift our youth, as various issues concerning our teens will be discussed.  CLICK HERE for more information, or how to become a volunteer, vendor, or guest speaker.  (I will be one of the guest speakers, so please come in support of GU4AP!)



Stylists from various places will come together to battle for 1st Place.  Come to experience the fusion of fashion and fun.  The perfect “Mommy & Me” Day!! Visit HERE for more information.



Thursday, October 16, 2014 – 


ATTENTION ALL PARENTS, this one’s for you.  Fashion models and designers from across America will gather together for a night of glitz, glam, and good entertainment!  Bring two canned goods to help with the LA Runway Food Drive!!  Email anerrickmanagement@yahoo.com for more information.



Saturday, October 18, 2014


Meet wonderful spiritual women as they gather together to examine & tackle stereotypes, lift the burdens of limitation, and offer a insight into the life challenges that women face on a daily basis.  REGISTER NOW to catch Early Bird registration.



Friday, November 14th, 2014 – 


Dynamic leaders will be honored and celebrated on this night of wonder.  SEE INFO Here for sponsorship packages.






FREE!!  Parenting Classes for Africans, African Americans, and Caribbeans.
Unfortunately NO court- or D.C.F.S.-ordered clientele will be accepted.
Call (323) 777-3120 for more information.

Brought to you by the Coalition of Mental health Professionals, Inc.
9219 S. Broadway Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90003



Showroom G is a creative talent firm geared towards pushing your brand out to the community, in the most elaborate ways.  Come see a weekly showcase of awesome designers who work hard to make you look good!  Click HERE for more information.



Staying in the know with what’s going on in the community, helps us to stay connected to each other. and keep our youth with an optimistic mindset.  We must work together for the good of our world, our countries, our states, our nations, our cultures, our communities, our neighborhoods, our families . . . and ourselves.  For we are all “family.”  Fellow members of the human race.  We need each other more than we might know.

Share these events with your families.  And if there are any events that you know of and would like to share with MYGirls, please contact me, and I will list them.  Let’s get involved, young girls!!


-Kahlelah, MYGirls

Managing Stress While In College

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Greetings and Blessings!!

I hope you all are doing well! I hope that you are getting into the swing of things while being in school. I think for most colleges/universities Homecoming is coming up within the next weeks of October. I hope you all take in the activities for the weekend and attend the Homecoming game! It’s really a great experience during Homecoming week. In this post I wanted to share and talk to you about how to manage stress while in school. Dealing with and managing stress while in college can be a tough and difficult task to do. From classes and bad professors to relationships and time management, the stress of college life always remains present. So what exactly is stress?

Stress is defined as a response to a demand that is placed upon you. Without some stress, people would not get a lot done. That extra burst of adrenaline that helps you finish your final paper, perform well in sports, or meet any challenge is positive stress. It is a short-term physiological tension and added mental alertness that subsides when the challenge has been met, enabling you to relax and carry on. Responses to stress can be physical, such as a headache; emotional, such as fear or sadness; and mental, such as increased anxiety. If you cannot return to a relaxed state, then the stress becomes negative. The changes in your body (increased heart rate, higher blood pressure and muscle tension) start to take their toll, often leading to mental and physical exhaustion and illness. Too much stress can cause problems and affect our health, productivity and relationships. So here are a few tips to learn how to keep your stress in check and how to relax when it gets to be too much.


Stressed or relaxed.


  1. Don’t Stress About Being Stressed When you’re feeling stressed, you feel like you’re on edge and everything is barely being held together. Don’t beat yourself up too badly about it! It’s all normal, and the best way to handle stress is to not get more stressed about being stressed.
  2. Sleep/Relaxation Getting more sleep can help your mind refocus, recharge, and re-balance. Sometimes, a good night’s sleep can be all you need to hit the ground running amidst a stressful time.
  3. Food Intake Similar to your sleep habits, your eating habits may have gone by the wayside when you started school. Think about what and when you’ve eaten over the past few days. You may think your stress is psychological, but you could also be feeling physical stress if you’re not fueling your body appropriately with the necessary nutrients.
  4. Set Some Quiet Time  When was the last time you had some quality, quiet time alone? Personal space for those in college rarely exists.. Find a few moments of peace and quiet with no cell phone, roommates, or crowds might be just what you need.
  5. Social Time You could be stressed because you’re being too focused on getting things done. Don’t forget that your brain is like a muscle, and even it needs a break every once in a while! Take a break and see a movie. Grab some friends and go out dancing.  Take the bus and hang out off campus for a few hours. Having a social life is an important part of your college experience, so don’t be afraid to keep it in the picture when you’re stressed.
  6. Distance You may be handling your own problems and trying to help others around you. While this can be nice for them, check in and be honest with yourself about how your helpful demeanor may be causing more stress in your life. It’s okay to take a step back and focus on yourself for a little while, especially if you are stressed and your academics are at risk. After all, how can you keep helping others if you’re not even in a state to help yourself? Figure out which things are causing you the most stress and how you can take a step back from each. And then, most importantly, take that step.

These are just a few tips that can be of help to you in dealing and managing stress while in college. If you are feeling too much pressure then go seek help from your campuses counseling center. It is okay to ask for help no one expects you to have it all together all the time. Sometimes you just need a break in order to regroup. Hope you all find this post helpful and useful.


Be Blessed


MYEvents: Thursday, September 25, 2014 – Wednesday, October 1, 2014



Hello brilliant young girls!!

*~ MYEvents will run every Thursday evening at 6:00pm, Pacific Standard Time. ~*

*~MYGirls Blog Series will run every Friday evening at 6:00pm, Pacific Standard Time. ~*



MYEvents will list all upcoming events.  They will either be free & open to the community, by RSVP, or by ticket purchase.  If you see an event listed, YOU’RE INVITED!!


Thursday, September 25, 2014


The mission of the South Los Angeles Homeless Transition Age Youth (TAY) and Foster Care Collaborative is to prevent and end youth homelessness in South Los Angeles.  RSVP Here to register for the community event to help end homelessness within our youth.



Saturday, October 4, 2014 – 


Inspirational community leaders will come together with Charlotte’s Korner, Inc., to encourage, empower, and uplift our youth, as various issues concerning our teens will be discussed.  CLICK HERE for more information, or how to become a volunteer, vendor, or guest speaker.  (I will be one of the guest speakers, so please come in support of GU4AP!)



Friday, November 14th, 2014 – 


Dynamic leaders will be honored and celebrated on this night of wonder.  SEE INFO Here for sponsorship packages.





FREE!!  Parenting Classes for Africans, African Americans, and Caribbeans.
Unfortunately NO court- or D.C.F.S.-ordered clientele will be accepted.
Call (323) 777-3120 for more information.

Brought to you by the Coalition of Mental health Professionals, Inc.
9219 S. Broadway Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90003



Staying in the know with what’s going on in the community, helps us to stay connected to each other. and keep our youth with an optimistic mindset.  We must work together for the good of our world, our countries, our states, our nations, our cultures, our communities, our neighborhoods, our families . . . and ourselves.  For we are all “family.”  Fellow members of the human race.  We need each other more than we might know.

Share these events with your families.  And if there are any events that you know of and would like to share with MYGirls, please contact me, and I will list them.  Let’s get involved, young girls!!



-Kahlelah, MYGirls

Why You Should Consider Studying Abroad in College


Greetings and Blessings!!

I hope you ladies are doing well. I hope you all are adjusting and enjoying your time so far in college. In this post I wanted to share and talk about taking advantage of studying abroad. I never personally studied abroad while I was in college but I have taken a trip of outside of the U.S. Studying abroad offers a unique opportunity to grow academically, professionally, and personally while going on a once-in-a-lifetime adventure. There are a number of other benefits to studying abroad, however, there are also numerous challenges.

The pros for studying abroad may be an ideal opportunity for you to seek adventure with the support network of an established program. For those of you who wish to learn a foreign language or develop existing foreign language skills and immerse yourself in a new culture will also find it beneficial. As well as, if you are considering a career in international relations you should definitely consider studying abroad, as it can increase job prospects upon graduation.

However, the cons for studying abroad is less suitable for you if you have strong attachments to your hometown and are wary of being far apart from your family and friends. Also, some universities also have strict requirements in place, restricting study abroad programs to those individuals who meet a minimum GPA. While there are study abroad scholarship opportunities specifically designed for students who wish to study abroad, their is that possibility that you may not be eligible. If you don’t qualify for a scholarship, weigh the pros and cons to make the best decision, and be sure to expand your search as far as what would be of help to you that would make it possible for you to study abroad.



Why Should You Study Abroad?

1. Experience a Foreign Culture

Visiting foreign countries  in person, is an entirely different experience. When you study abroad, you participate in the day-to-day life of a new locale, gaining a first-hand understanding and new appreciation of the culture.

2. Second Language Skills

Studying abroad can provide you with a perfect opportunity to learn a new foreign language. Being surrounded by native speakers affords you the chance to immerse yourself in the language, which can expedite your retention and fluency.

3. Explore Your Own Heritage

Individuals whose familial heritage stems from abroad will often choose to explore their ethnicity and ancestry.

4. Pursue an Activity

Studying abroad is a chance for you to be adventurous, explore the unknown, and try your hand at activities that may not be offered back in your hometown.

5. Learn How to Communicate Across Cultures

Studying abroad helps you become familiar with the customs and traditions of the country in which you are studying, in addition to the language. By interacting with locals, you can develop an appreciation for the culture and its differences from your own.

6. Gain Independence

Studying abroad removes you from the normal support network that you are accustomed to back home. While on the one hand, being away from friends and family can seem daunting, it is also a chance for you to hone your own skills and gain some independence.

7. Manage Your Own Finances

One major aspect of being an independent adult is having the ability to manage your own finances. Regardless of whether your study abroad program is financed by a scholarship, grant, or another source of income, chances are that it will be your responsibility to pay the bills.

Also, living in a new country also forces you to learn to understand a new form of currency, and familiarize yourself with the various living expenses. Understanding how to manage your expenses will especially be beneficial when you no longer rely on the support of your family.

8. Increase Your Employment Opportunities

Employers value prospective candidates with international experience, foreign language skills, and the ability to communicate across cultures. If you’re interested in pursuing a career in international relations, diplomacy, or government, these skills will be especially useful.

Use your experience studying abroad to expand your set of abilities, and make these a determining factor that will separate you from the others in a pool of applicants.

9. Form and Develop New and Rewarding Relationships

Without your regular support group of friends and family, you will be confronted with new situations on a daily basis. However, studying abroad offers you the chance to meet new people and form friendships that may last a lifetime. Whether you’re living with a host family or in a student residence, make an effort to form relationships with those around you.

10. Networking

In addition to making friends, you can also form professional contacts while abroad. Generally speaking, course loads tend to be comparatively lighter while studying abroad, so this can be an ideal occasion to intern, work part-time,  or volunteer while you’re studying.

If you are considering studying abroad while in college go and speak to your college and/or university’s study abroad department and find out all the information concerning your schools study abroad program. They will tell you all you need to know and help you in getting all the information that is needed in order to study abroad.

Be Blessed


MYGirls: Let’s Talk About Leadership & Self-Esteem (Part 1)


*~ The MYGirls Blog Series will run every Friday, at 6:00pm Pacific Standard Time. ~*

Greetings, outstanding young girls!!

Hopefully, by now, you all have been able to follow the MYGirls Blog Series  These blog entries, along with suggested reads from @, @, and @, are here for your viewing pleasure, as well as to provide insight and tips on how to be successful in school, build & maintain friendships, improve on home-based routines and responsibilities, and overall navigate through life in general.  We bloggers speak to you from experience, to both inspire and prepare you for what’s to come in the near (and distant future).

So far within the MYGirls Blog Series, we have covered Social Media Etiquette, Appearance & Personal Hygiene (broken into two parts), and Academics.  Today’s topic (now broken into two parts) will zero in on something that affects all young girls, worldwide:  Leadership & Self-Esteem (Part 1).


Leadership & Self-Esteem are extremely important to me when it comes to young girls, because they are things that young girls struggle with everyday.  But what is a leader?  A leader is someone who can make decisions with a sound mind, considering both the pros and cons of a particular situation.  A leader is someone who takes initiative, without having to be instructed to do so.  A leader is responsible, and holds him- or herself accountable for any mishaps.  A leader is knowledgeable, in one or many areas, by either study or experience.  Simply put, a leader handles business, and other people trust in leaders.  Many young girls lack the traits needed (confidence, bravery, ambition, strength, focus) to exhibit effective leadership.

This is largely because girls are typically discouraged from displaying their leadership abilities, and because the two go hand-in-hand, such discouragement directly affects their levels of self-esteem.  discouraged_child-250x250

Many times in school, girls are teased for raising their hands if they can answer questions presented to the class by their teachers.  How many of you young girls have been called offensive names like, “goody two-shoes?”  What about “know-it-all?”  I know I have, when I was your age.  Girls are often ridiculed for showing their intelligence, and it is treated as though it were against what society considers normal girl behavior.  In many cultures around the world, girls are discouraged or even restricted by law from learning anything outside of domestic duties (cooking, cleaning, raising children, being a wife).  Because boys grow to be the men who will lead the families & communities and males are to protect females, it is believed that a boy’s worldly education is more important, whereas a girl’s focus should be on homemaking skills.  It is believed that males are supposed to lead and females are supposed to follow (by nature, which is a topic that should be taught by your parent(s) ).  While all cultures are different in their traditions, it is no secret that girls are unfortunately kept from expanding their minds beyond what is accepted by their families, friends, and others in society. Attending school, which would take their minds away from the home, is definitely out of the question.

Here in America, girls are able to attend and participate in school, however the treatment isn’t too far off from being discouraged from attending school altogether.  Girls are usually shy, and that shyness is fueled by fear of being put on the spot by their peers.  A fellow student, most commonly a boy, will blurt out a joke in an attempt to embarrass a girl, and silence her from speaking up any further in class.


Young girls, I’d love to know, and I’m sure you’d like to know within yourselves:

  • Do you find yourselves raising your hands slowly, and halfway in the air, to avoid attracting too much attention to yourselves?  When the teacher calls on you, do you answer in a low-toned voice?
  • Do you have trouble making eye contact, or do you hold your head down when speaking?
  • Do you say “I’m sorry,” “excuse me,” or “I don’t mean to . . . ,” more than necessary?
  • Do you find yourselves holding back on correct answers?  Do you hold back on your thoughts and opinions?
  • Do you hold back on group projects, for fear of being called “bossy” if you can facilitate the progression of group work?  Do you adhere to when people say that you can’t be in charge?


Young girls, I’ve been there before.  I know what it feels like to second-guess yourself because someone has challenged your thinking . . . even when I know I had the right answer.  I know what it feels like to not put my all into a class project, for fear of being called names.  I know what it feels like to not be sure of the sound of my own voice, and to speak timidly.  It is a painful feeling, and believe me, I know how it feels:  it’s like we’re expected to be clueless, and then ridiculed for being clueless.  Seems like a losing battle, doesn’t it?  Well young girls, I’m here to tell you, it’s not.  As a matter of fact young girls, it’s not a battle at all.  Especially, if we don’t make it one, or allow it to become one.  self-esteem


Young girls, there will always be people who will try to divert your attention away from your goals.  There will always be people who will try to discourage you from achieving.  There will always be people who will doubt your skills, your smarts, your intelligence, your potential . . . and many of those people will do so simply because you are a girl.  Many will try to take control of your confidence and self-esteem levels.  Well young girls, this is where YOU come in.

You see these words over here?  These are all POSITIVE traits. womenroles.euwomen-300x187

And each one of these traits, can be found in each and every one of you wonderful young girls.  Each of you has the ability to master every trait listed in this fun illustration.  It would be damaging to believe that girls cannot be powerful, or ambitious, or outspoken.  It would diminish the confidence in a girl who is ridiculed for giving a presentation in front of her class.  Consider these words, your self-esteem boosters.  Utilize your tools, these boosters!!  Because I can bet that if each one of you amazing young girls repeats each word listed here in the above illustration, in the mirror, affirming it by first saying “I am,” and then each word right after . . . what I believe in you, you will be believe in you, too!


Remember young girls, all great leaders didn’t start out that way.  Not everybody believed in them.  BUT, they found what they were good at, and excelled, becoming a leader (or expert) in that particular activity.  They fought through failures (which are only temporary setbacks), they continued on despite naysayers, they believed in themselves even when others around them didn’t.  Boys and girls are fit to be leaders, and it doesn’t have to be in the same activity, line of work, belief or practice, etc.  Remember that there will always be people who will purposely try to put you down.  However, you continue on regardless.  Girls are just as valuable, just as important, just as special, and just as powerful as boys . . . all in your own ways.  A boy might lead in math, a girl might lead in science.  A boy might lead in history, a girl might lead in social studies.  A boy my lead in business management, a girl might lead in economics.  A boy might lead in a group project based on art.  A girl might lead a group project based on literature.  Both might lead in finance.  Both might lead in politics.  Both might lead in medicine.  See?  We ALL can be leaders!  So young girls, let doubters (or, as many of you say, “haters”) motivate you to excel even further than you thought you could!  Those who try to discourage you, might be intimidated by you . . . so, let them be!  The only person you can control, is you.  The only person you have something to prove to, is yourself.  So make yourselves proud, young girls!  Prove yourselves right!

Believe that you achieve goals, and excel in school.  Believe that your voices matter.  Believe that YOU matter.  Don’t fear raising your hands if you know the right answers . . . be afraid of keeping it to yourselves!  Be afraid of NOT letting your lights shine!  Do not be afraid to be who & what you are! Screen-Shot-2014-03-10-at-11.27.06-AM

Our last GU4AP / MYGirls event on July 12, 2014, “Park Beautification Day” in Moreno Valley, CA, incorporated a Leadership workshop from Ban Bossy, an initiative brought to you by Lean In & Girl Scouts of the USA.  The Ban Bossy website has various downloadable activity & workshop booklets for students, teachers, parents, and troop leaders.  Each booklet contains several facts regarding females in school settings, the workforce, and environments in which girls interact with their friends.  I encourage you all to check out these booklets, as MYGirls will be using them for our upcoming Mentor / Mentee workshops.

As I conclude, young girls, I want to leave you with another list of self-esteem boosters:


Though all of these tips may not apply to your lives, some of them will . . . so utilize your tools, your boosters!!

Next Friday’s blog:  Competition, and “Frenemies” (Part 2)

-Kahlelah, “MYGirls”

MYEvents: Thursday, September 18, 2014 – Wednesday, September 24, 2014


Hi there, outstanding young girls!!

*~ MYEvents will run every Thursday evening at 6:00pm, Pacific Standard Time. ~*

*~MYGirls Blog Series will run every Friday evening at 6:00pm, Pacific Standard Time. ~*



MYEvents will list all upcoming events.  They will either be free & open to the community, by RSVP, or by ticket purchase.  If you see an event listed, YOU’RE INVITED!!


Sunday, September 21, 2014 – 


Hair stylists from across America will come together for a chance to be honored as the Bobbi Boss 2014 “America’s Next Top Stylist.”  CLICK HERE for information, stylist registration, and consumer tickets. (I will be one of the models on the runway!)


Thursday, September 25, 2014


The mission of the South Los Angeles Homeless Transition Age Youth (TAY) and Foster Care Collaborative is to prevent and end youth homelessness in South Los Angeles.  RSVP Here to register for the community event to help end homelessness within our youth.


Saturday, October 4, 2014 – 


Inspirational community leaders will come together with Charlotte’s Korner, Inc., to encourage, empower, and uplift our youth, as various issues concerning our teens will be discussed.  CLICK HERE for more information, or how to become a volunteer, vendor, or guest speaker.  (I will be one of the guest speakers . . . updated flyer coming soon.)


Friday, November 14th, 2014 – 


Dynamic leaders will be honored and celebrated on this night of wonder.  SEE INFO Here for sponsorship packages.





FREE!!  Parenting Classes for Africans, African Americans, and Caribbeans.
Unfortunately NO court- or D.C.F.S.-ordered clientele will be accepted.
Call (323) 777-3120 for more information.

Brought to you by the Coalition of Mental health Professionals, Inc.
9219 S. Broadway Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90003



Staying in the know with what’s going on in the community, helps us to stay connected to each other. and keep our youth with an optimistic mindset.  We must work together for the good of our world, our countries, our states, our nations, our cultures, our communities, our neighborhoods, our families . . . and ourselves.  For we are all “family.”  Fellow members of the human race.  We need each other more than we might know.

Share these events with your families.  And if there are any events that you know of and would like to share with MYGirls, please contact me, and I will list them.  Let’s get involved, young girls!!


-Kahlelah, MYGirls

A Freshman Girl’s Guide To College Dating Part 2


Greetings and Blessings!!!

I hope you ladies are doing well!! In the last post, I shared with you all dating and relationship tips when it comes to dating in college. I really do hope that post was helpful and useful to you. This post is part two and I will be sharing and talking to you all about the topic of sex and the use of contraceptives and choosing to be celibate or abstinent. This topic can be a bit uncomfortable for people to open up and talk about. I am in no way shape or form encouraging any one to be sexually active while in school. But it is important to be knowledgeable and aware about this topic. Sexual health is one of the most important things a college student should manage while at college. Studies show “Somewhere between 20 and 25 percent of college students are or have been infected with an STD”, hopefully this will get your attention. If you think you may become sexually active in college you need to know the risks, and ways to keep safe. You only have one body, and a poor decision one night could change your life forever, effecting every aspect of your future.

When it comes to the use of contraceptives there are many different forms of birth control that one can choose to be on. There are two different types of birth control methods and they are hormonal and nonhornmal. Hormonal approaches include injections, hormonal intrauterine devices (IUD), implanon, oral contraceptives (the pill), nuva rings, and patches. Nonhormonal practices comprise of contraceptive sponges, diaphragms, female and male condoms, nonhormonal intrauterine devices (IUD), and spermicide. Each of these different usage of contraceptives vary in terms of effectiveness and the duration of time for when to be used. It is important that you speak with your doctor concerning the best form of birth control to use if you choose to be on it.


STD stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease. These diseases can be transmitted during any types of sexual contact where direct contact occurs. There are several types of STDs.

Common STD’s include:

  • HPV (human papilloma virus)
  • Chlamydia
  • Gonorrhea
  • Syphilis
  • HIV / AIDS
  • Herpes

Sexually Transmitted Diseases are very much really and anyone can contract them. Do not just take a person’s word that they are STD HIV/AIDS free. Go and get tested!!! Most if not all college campuses have free STD HIV/AIDS testing in their community health center. My college health center had free testing every Wednesday so check with your campus health center and see if they provided this service. If they don’t ask them where any free clinics are to see if they provided these services. It is important that you know your status and the person that you are considering sleeping with and/or sleeping with status.

Choosing To Be Abstinent/Celibate 

There are many advantages to choosing not to have, or postponing sexual activity while in college. You can have great, fulfilling relationships without having sex until you are absolutely ready! It is okay to say “no” and choose to wait to have sex until you are ready. There are some advantages to being abstinent or celibate and a few of them are:

  • If the relationship lasts without sex, there is a good chance it will be a strong relationship.
  • Confidence: You’ll know that the other person likes you for you, and not just for sexual attraction.
  • Freedom from worry: You’ll have no concerns about unintended pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted infections. Also, there will be less confusion about relationships that become intense too fast.
  • Less stress: There will be time to learn more about yourself and your feelings.
  • Peace of mind: You won’t be risking your future for a few minutes of pleasure now.
  • Simplicity: You won’t have to worry about birth control.
  • Security: It feels safer to know a person better, and wait until you think this is the person you may.

Choosing to be abstinent or going from being sexually active to celibacy is no easy walk. There is temptation and the feeling or thought of what having sex would be like. It is important that you surrounded yourself with a good positive friends that will be supportive of you. Whether you are sexually active or not, it is important that you take care of you!! There are so many STD’s that can become contracted without any symptoms appearing right away. If whoever you are interested in or dating really cares and likes you then they will respect your decision to wait. It is important when it comes to dating that you get to know one another before any sexual encounters take place. Do not let anyone pressure you into doing something that you don’t feel comfortable with. Please always remember that it is okay to say NO! Everyone is not having sex and it is perfectly okay if you choose to be one of those people who is choosing to wait! You only have one life and one body and it is important that you take care of it the best you can!


Be Blessed


MYGirls: Let’s Talk About Academics


*~ The MYGirls Blog Series will run every Friday, at 6:00pm Pacific Standard Time. ~*


Hi there precious young girls!!!


So last Friday, I completed Part 2 of the 2-Part mini-series, Appearance & Personal Hygiene.  The focuses were taking care of yourself, and presenting the best of yourself.

While the next blog is Academics, I think @ has this department covered.  She is an expert in academic preparation:  staying on top of your grades, effective study habits, campus involvement, and financial responsibilities (for college students, so this would mean our 18-year-old MYGirls).  Follow her blog entries for great academic advice!!

the young girl studying to her examination


Before I go, I do want to leave you with a few pointers on balancing academics with other aspects in your lives:


Balance your time between academics and friends.  We love spending time with our friends.  We love to hang out, go to the mall, the beach, to each other’s homes, and we love relax a little, without responsibility.  However, we DO have responsibilities.  Young girls, you are responsible for completing your own classwork, completing and turning in your own homework.  You are responsible for your own studying, and you must develop your own study habits (for example:  you might not be able to concentrate on your work with music playing, even though your friend can).  You are responsible for making good grades.  Because your name is the only name on your report card.  So, let your name shine in lights with awesome grades!!


Balance your time between academics and extra-curricular activities.  We love to play sports.  We love to be involved on campus.  We love to gather with our friends and our peers for club meetings, school dances, team tryouts, school play auditions, talent shows, and other fun activities.  These exciting things to do, really stimulate the artistic sides of us.  They can also interfere with our academic progress.  Young girls, understand that extra-curricular activities are an EXTRA part of school; they do not make up the entire reason for being in school, and should not be the only reason for focusing on your studies and maintaining good grades.  Campus involvement is very important, as it makes for a well-rounded student . . . make sure, young girls, that you put scholastic activities at the same level of importance.  Maybe even a little higher.
**All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl, but no work and all play keeps Jill from graduating! 






Balance your time between academics and boyfriends.  In school, we sometimes find that special someone of the opposite sex, who makes us laugh, comforts us when we cry, buys us lunch and other nice things, carries our books for us, defends us, protects us from harm, supports us at our games, and might even help us study.  Just like our friends, we need to find time away from our boyfriends to stay on track with our studies.  Love is a beautiful thing, and sometimes, we find it at a young age.  Young girls, please understand that love is a very strong word, with a very deep meaning, and you might be too young to fully understand it.  When you’re in love, it can take your mind away from so many things . . . including your responsibilities.  Our boyfriends cannot turn in our work for us to our teachers.  You must find a balance between the boy you love, and the schoolwork that will get you to the next level.  Talk to your parent(s) about it!


Balance your time between academics and household chores.  Our parents put a humongous effort into raising us.  Their children.  Their offspring.  Their reflections.  We must honor our parents.  Therefore, we must adhere to the responsibilities they give us, as well as our scholastic responsibilities.  When Mom says to wash the dishes, we do so.  When Dad says to clean our rooms, we do so.  When we are told o vacuum the livingroom floor, we do so.  No questions asked.  Why?  Because our parents are molding us into well-rounded individuals who can later function in life, as adults.  This may sound like a bit much, but truthfully, young girls, it’s not.  With time management and learning how to balance everything, it’s a piece of cake!


Young girls, it helps to invest in an organizer.  Or a monthly planner for the year. cd90133890fa6c20e977ac3162c31815

In it, write down all homework assignments, class projects, club meetings, team practice dates & times, and other important school-oriented responsibilities.  You can also write down your household responsibilities, like when you are to wash the dishes, do the laundry, clean the bathroom, clean your room, cook, and anything else your parent(s) delegate as your task.  Besides, when you leave for college, you might attend a college or university far away from your family.  So life skills must be intact if you plan to succeed on your own . . . which I’m sure you all want to eventually do!





Let’s stay focused!!  Have a beautiful weekend, young girls.


Next Friday’s blog:  Leadership & Self-Esteem


-Kahlelah, “MYGirls”

Re-cap of the Community Swearing-In Celebration & Administration of the Oath of Office of District 1 Board Member, Dr. George J. McKenna, III


What a day it was!!

Last Saturday, I attended the open community event, in honor of Dr. George J. McKenna, III.  A man who is a nationally-renowned leader for our youth in inner-city school districts throughout the Greater Los Angeles area.  It was such a beautiful sight to see:  parents, students, teachers, LAUSD board members, community leaders, and other key attendees offering support for the induction of our new LAUSD Board Member, representing District 1.


It was such an honor meeting a divine gentleman, with a stellar vision for the advancement of our youth.  I also had the extreme pleasure of meeting U.S. Congresswoman, Maxine Waters, Representative of the 43rd congressional district of California.  Thank you for giving the youth a voice, Dr. McKenna!!


The full press release is below.


August 12, 2014

Nationally-Renowned Educator George McKenna Elected to LAUSD Board of Education
Despite being outspent over 3 to 1, McKenna prevailed by building a coalition of community and educators.

Los Angeles, CA – Dr. George McKenna, the internationally-recognized educator whose turnaround of South Central Los Angeles’ Washington Prep High School led to the made-for-TV movie starring Denzel Washington, “The George McKenna Story,” overcame a 3-to-1 funding disadvantage to be elected to the District 1 seat of the school board that oversees America’s second largest school district.

McKenna ran a comparatively lean campaign that heavily relied upon a superior campaign strategy and the support of activist teachers and education, parent, community, and ecumenical leaders/organizations. The campaign built on the grassroots effort to appoint McKenna to the vacancy caused by the unexpected death of long-time board member Marguerite LaMotte on December 5, 2013. In January, the LAUSD school board rejected that call from the community, opting instead for a special election, which has left District 1 unrepresented for over 9 months.

In response to the 53% to 47% electoral result, McKenna said:

“The community won and sent a message that District 1 is not for sale.

“I am honored to succeed my long-time friend and colleague Marguerite Poindexter LaMotte. She was a champion for children and can never be replaced.

“I feel so privileged to have earned the trust and confidence of District 1 voters to be their school board representative.

“Today was an important day for the district, because of our election and because it marked the first day of school. Tonight, at dinner tables across our region children are telling stories about new adventures in learning, and teachers are assessing the day’s successes and challenges. They all should know how proud I am to be their board member, and how committed I am to their success. I am here to help every student reach their God-given potential, and give every teacher the support they need to fulfill their calling to education.

“The coalition we have built of parents, community and educators will not dissipate now that the electoral process is complete. Now begins the hard work of transforming our district, liberating our children, and emancipating our communities. Our task is not easy, but I welcome the challenge. I have never accepted an easy assignment in my career, yet I have always improved the educational outcomes of children. I will draw on the best of my experience, assemble an able team of advisors, and work in partnership with parents, teachers and the community to pursue excellence in our schools.

Let’s get to work.”


With five decades of experience, George McKenna has served at all levels of the educational ladder, including classroom mathematics teacher, principal and local district superintendent within LAUSD. Additionally, he served as Superintendent of the Inglewood USD, Deputy Director of the Compton USD and Assistant Superintendent of Secondary Schools in the Pasadena USD. He currently serves as an educational consultant, providing professional development and support to school districts and community organizations throughout the country.

McKenna has been recognized locally, nationally and internationally for his work in transforming schools, improving student performance and increasing community interest and involvement in local schools. With more than 400 citations, he has been profiled in national publications, including Time, People and Ebony magazines; television shows, including “Nightline” and “The Oprah Winfrey Show;” and numerous newspapers, including The Wall Street Journal, Los Angeles Times and The Christian Science Monitor.


We at Girls Unite 4 A Purpose & MYGirls salute you, Dr. McKenna!!
**Special thank-you to Gwendolyn Cross of California Women 4 Women for the invitation.

-Kahlelah, “MYGirls”

A Freshman Girl’s Guide To College Dating


Greetings and Blessings!!!

I hope you ladies are doing well!! I hope you all are starting to become comfortable in the college setting and not letting it overwhelm you. It can be overwhelming at times. But remember that if you are having trouble with your schoolwork or with anything personal it is okay to seek help. This post will be broken down into two parts. In this post I wanted to share and talk with you about relationships while being in college. College relationships can greatly differ from middle and high school relationships. In no way, shape or form am I a relationship expert, but I’ve had witnessed the good, the bad and the ugly in college relationships. Whether you are doing the long distance thing with your high school sweetheart and you are trying to maintain that relationship or looking to see what the dating scene is like while in college it is good to have a guide to figuring out the ins and outs of college dating.

When it comes to developing and forming a friendship and/or relationship with guys it is important to define the boundaries within that friendship and/or relationship. In all honesty, the majority of relationships in college tend to be a lot of game play from both sexes. Even though the majority of the time it’s the males that are seen to be doing wrong, females are known to play games with who they are seeing as well. When it comes to relationships it is important to know and understand that guys have their own perspective of a girl who is their friend and a girl is who their girlfriend. If you’re a friend, they may be attracted to you, feeling you, or crushing on you, but until they actually TELL you something, you’re still just a friend. You all may hang out together and talk frequently but unless they have stated their intentions, it is best to avoid thinking that there are any desires to pursue a relationship. When it comes to them wanting more than just a friendship with you and they are looking to be in a committed relationship with you, you’ll know. There will be no “maybe” floating around in your head, no second guessing anything. Their actions will speak and their words will match up with these actions!

Here are some tips for you to keep in mind regarding friendships and/or relationships while in college. It is always important to remember to take things slowly and be wary. Stay grounded and always have an understanding of what someone’s intentions are while making sure that your own intentions are as clear as crystal.

06.30.12 Emily Garbutt iphone4 text messaging

  • It is okay to be single There is nothing wrong with being in college and being single while in college!! This is the time to find yourself and find out what you want out of life. We’ve all got that friend who can’t stay out of a relationship. Dating can be great, but when you move from person to person, you start to lose sight of YOURSELF. Get to know you and focus on what you want and what you need. When the time is right, the one for you will make an appearance.
  • If your heart’s not in it, get out. Don’t stay with someone who doesn’t make you happy. Let me repeat that: DON’T BE WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T MAKE YOU HAPPY. It seems so simple, but why would you SETTLE for something your heart isn’t fully in? Know that you are worth more and you deserve more than being in a relationship for the sake of being in one.
  • Don’t doubt it. If you have misgivings about your significant other, chances are there’s a reason. Trust issues don’t just appear randomly. Have they been dishonest in the past? Did they cheat on you? Are they flirting with someone else in front of you? You can’t be happy with someone if you’re going to spend all your time worrying about what they’re doing when they’re not with you.
  • Common Interests Really think about this one. Do you have ANYTHING in common aside from being physically attracted to one another? I certainly hope so! If not, it is best to reconsider and re-evaluate your relationship with this person.
  • Be Honest Trust and honesty are the foundation of EVERY relationship and/or friendship.
  • Define your relationship. Just because you change your relationship status on Facebook or tweet or post pics of lovey dovey messages on Twitter/Instagram does not make your relationship official. Knowing what you are to the other person and what they are to you makes it official not displaying it on social media! If you are making all these changes to accommodate them and if you are doing all the posting on social media about your relationship and the person that you are with is NOT, then that person isn’t invested in the relationship as you are.
  • Manage your time. Yes the saying is true, that people do make time for what they want. In relationships as well as friendships it is important for both individuals to make and spend time with one another. How can you know anything about this person if all you do is text or talk on the phone? Also, it is important that you don’t spend all your FREE TIME with your significant other. You need time for you. How can you miss them or ask them how was their day or get anything important done if you guys are together all day every day! So many relationships fail because individuals spend too much time with each other and not enough time on themselves. You and the person you are dating should be able to function when you are a part from one another.

When it comes to friendships and relationships of the opposite sex they are not complicated! Its people who complicate them because of the lack of honesty from the very beginning. If you have to question, “where is this relationship going?” then its probably not going anywhere because that person is not emotionally invested in it. It is important that you know what you will and will not put up with in relationships. If you don’t know your worth. If you don’t know or have a voice then these guys will see that and take advantage of you. And trust me they can see and spot that a mile away. What you allow will continue and I am speaking from personal experience when I say that. Get to know you and get to know who you are in Christ before jumping or rushing into being in a relationship. As always, I hope you find this post helpful and useful and I look forward to writing part two of a freshman girl’s guide to college dating,


Be Blessed


MYGirls: Let’s Talk About Appearance & Personal Hygiene (Part 2: Appearance)


*~ The MYGirls Blog Series will run every Friday, at 6:00pm Pacific Standard Time. ~*

Hello lovely young girls!

How are you all doing???  School is back in session, how are you classes going?  Are you well-adjusted to the teaching styles of your instructors?  Are you grasping the work in class, and understanding your homework?  Hopefully the answers to all these questions, is a confident “Yes!”  However, do not be discouraged if you have to answer “No.”  It is okay to need, and seek, help for yourselves.  We all are imperfect creatures, and a helping hand is typically a non-judgmental hand.

Last Friday’s blog piece was on Part 1 of a 2-Part entry:  Appearance & Personal Hygiene, with Part 1 being Personal Hygiene.  Last week’s topic focused on the importance of minding how often you allow your friends to use your health & beauty products (soaps, lotions, body sprays, lip balms & glosses, etc.), lest you make yourselves susceptible to the passing of germs, which can lead to allergic reactions, infections, and other possible ailments and illnesses.  As Part 1 pertained to how you take care of yourselves, Part 2, Appearance, will focus on how you present yourselves.


Presentation is SO important when it comes to showing yourselves to the world.  There’s an old saying that goes, “you never get a second chance to make a first impression.”  While it is true that wo/man makes the clothes and not the other way around, the way that one dresses sets the tone for others to formulate their opinions about him or her, whether accurate about the person or otherwise.

When you are making yourselves visible to the world, you are showing the world who and what you are, based on the first impression they get from you.  No, you should not judge a book by its cover, however there is a reason why an author puts much time & thought into how he or she would like to illustrate the book title and cover.  Something has to attract the reader, and the visual must be persuasive enough to prompt the reader to check out the book’s overview . . . and possibly make the purchase from the bookstore or check-out from the library.  It’s all in the presentation!

Young girls, how do you see yourselves when you look in the mirror? stock-photo-10337028-young-girl-tries-on-crown-looking-in-mirror While we are defining ourselves based on likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, and how we relate to the rest of the world, we must also keep in mind that we are defining ourselves AND being defined.  Not initially by others, but rather by what we do when we present ourselves.  While no one else can define you, what you do to define yourself, can actually work against you.

If you have been keeping up with the blog entries from our GU4AP / MYG bloggers (outside of the MYGirls blog series), you will notice our fabulous blogger Ashley ( @ ) gave insight on great ways to present yourselves in her blog entry, “Age Appropriate Back to School Fashion Outfits for Young Girls . . . ”  I would like to expand a bit further on the importance of presentation, regarding possible messages others could be interpreting when viewing your first impression.

  • Wearing age-appropriate attire is extremely important, especially in young girls whose bodies have developed into shapes usually seen on adult females.  A young girl must first understand her body and its development, puberty, her sexuality, the vast differences between an adolescent and an adult, and the possible message she could give off if wearing makeup, tight or revealing clothing, high heels, hairstyles typically seen on adult females, long acrylic or press-on nails, and anything that screams “grown-up.”  Makeup is not for young girls.  High heels are not for young girls.  Tight or revealing clothing is not for young girls.  Multiple ear or body piercings are not for young girls.  Certain hairstyles are not for young girls.  We stress confidence, self-love, and we also stress self-respect.
  • As much as we must pay attention to how we are fixing ourselves up, we must also pay attention to the times we make NO effort to give good presentation.  While the exterior does not speak for the interior, the exterior could possibly distract the viewer, turning him or her away from the main goal of getting to the interior.  Hairstyles nowadays straddle the fence between ‘neat’ and ‘unkempt’, so there is really no defining base.  However, that does not mean to present yourself looking as though you rolled out of bed five minutes prior.  We must dress for what we want, and look the part.  Why?  Well, because you wouldn’t want to sit at the station of a manicurist who has dirty nails.  You wouldn’t want to sit in the chair of a hairstylist whose hair is all over the place . . . not in any particular style or pattern.  You wouldn’t want to buy food from a chef who came to work looking like he or she ran through a dust storm.  What clients would trust them and their service(s)?  None of those people would be dressed to look their parts.  It’s only fair that they don’t expect business to be good.

Young girls, remember as I said, you always want to “look the part.”  You always want to dress for what you want.  Your initial appearance is what gets others to believe in your words, your business, your product(s), your insight, your views.  And this means way more than the labels and price tags attached to the clothing you wear.

If you want success, you must dress like you’re going to find it. iammichelleO_v2



Please understand, young girls, that paying attention to your appearance and presentation, is not to make you stuck-up, snobby, self-conscious, or to make you superficial.  Paying attention to the way you look, is exhibiting self-love, self-worth, self-respect, and self-esteem.  When you look good, you feel good, and when you feel good, you tend to want to DO good.  And when done with the proper guidance, you’ll always BE good.


Remember young girls, 1098168_10152162918519128_581882700_n1, and show the world how to love you too!!


-Kahlelah, “MYGirls”

Maintaining And Forming New Friendships



Greetings and Blessings!!!

I hope you ladies are doing well!! I hope that you all are getting adjusted to being college and embracing this new experience and adventure. In this post I wanted to share with you how to deal with in maintaining friendships and forming and establishing new ones. Maintaining long-distance friendships while in college can be difficult. But there is also that wonderful experience of forming and developing new ones. A friendship that was formed at home usually shares a kind of bond that is irreplaceable. Friends like these do not grow on tress, so holding onto these friendships while away from home is just as important as forming new ones. When it comes to maintaining your friendships with those back home, open communication is very important. With the friends that you have back home you can stay connected with them either through phone calls, emails, or both and of course social media. Also, homecoming and the activities surrounding your homecoming is a great way for you and your friends to hang out and see one another.

When it comes to forming and developing new friendships while at school, it can be a challenging time. You’re  in a new environment and you are becoming adjusted to your new surroundings. By living in a dorm and having a roommate that can be a great opportunity to establish friendships. By having a roommate, it is a great way for you to bond together over how it feels to be in college and see if you share any other interest in common. Now, having a roommate is great but it can be a real test to see how well you both can handle being in each others space. Being able to compromise and respect each others differences is very important when you are living with someone that you don’t really know. Some people who are roommates are just that and haven’t developed that bond and trust factor with one another to become friends. It is okay if you and your roommate don’t end up being the best of friends. Just be cordial to one another and if issues arise go to your floor monitor and work out any issues you guys are having.



A great way to build on and develop new friendships with other students is becoming involved in organized campus activities. As you increase your involvement in college life, you will build new friendships and relationships, which will have a positive effect on your well-being. You will maintain and improve your relationships, as you build your communication skills, show concern for others, and develop your problem-solving skills.

It is important to know that when it comes to friendships whether its close friends from back home or new ones that you’ve formed, that it takes the work of both individuals in maintaining that friendship. A true friendship is not one-sided. It is important to surrounded yourselves with individuals who are helping you in achieving your goals and dreams and vice versa. If you are surrounded by individuals who are yes people and people who are not doing anything productive with themselves it is time to re-evaluate that friendship. Everyone that you come across is not meant to be your friend. Having a true and genuine friendship with someone is a blessing and it is important that one cherishes it.


Be Blessed


MYGirls: Let’s Talk About Appearance & Personal Hygiene (Part 1: Personal Hygiene)

Hello young girls!!

So as I previously stated in the introduction to the “MYGirls” Blog Series, we will post various blog entries over the next few months.  At first, it was stated that the blog entries would be posted however long it may take . . . and we realize that THAT needs to change.  From now on, all MYGirls blogs will be scheduled for Friday evening, at 6:00pm, Pacific Standard Time.  This makes for the perfect opportunity for you lovely readers to settle in from school, and take in a blog or two (or how ever many interest you), along with a healthy snack!

We have already touched on the topic of Social Media Etiquette:  how to conduct yourself via cyberspace, and how to make your online profile represent the real you in a positive manner.  Our next MYGirls topic, is Appearance & Personal Hygiene . . . which I have decided to break into two parts (and our blogger @ is ideal to follow for beauty & skin care tips, along with our bloggers @ who recently posted an entry pertaining to age-appropriate attire)! Remember young girls, these blog entries are here for you to read while you are navigating through teenage years, in school or at home, and will serve as helpful guides filled with knowledge, typically gained from experience, to assist you as you leave your mark in the free world of “cyberspace.”

And now, let’s talk about . . . Personal Hygiene! Bedtime collage


At this point, I am sure that many of you are back in session for the 2014-2015 school year, and have gotten pretty well-adjusted to your classes.  Many of you have reunited with old friends from last school year, and/or have managed to make new friends to begin the current school year.  Many of you have broken off into your friends’ circles, whether big or small, sharing commonalities like favorite colors, favorite “girly” products (lip gloss, sweet-smelling lotions & body sprays, hair pins, etc), favorite courses & teachers, mutual friends, likes & dislikes, and the list goes on.


Let’s visit the favorite “girly” products.  While our amazing blogger Emily Jean goes over a few products via her usage and recommendation, I would like to touch on further etiquette behind using these products . . .



Ask yourselves, “what are all the products I like to use?”  We females love to be clean.  We love our shampoos & conditioners, cleansers & moisturizers, applicators & removers, and so on.  When we see a product, especially if it is new or has bright packaging, we begin to hear the bells & whistles that urge us to PURCHASE.  And, after the purchase, we like to show our girlfriends our new findings.

What usually comes right after the big reveal to the girlfriends?  The girlfriends want to use your new products.


Sharing is indeed caring, and we always want to be nice and show ourselves friendly to those whom we consider our friends.  We like to trade things with our friends.  We want our girlfriends to experience the same joyous feeling(s) we get after opening, trying, and anticipating results of a new product.  However, young girls, the passing of germs also goes into Personal Hygiene.  When we carelessly allow for our friends to make usage of our products on their faces & bodies, that we use on our own faces & bodies, we open the door to germs from others being left behind in our product containers (especially if the product(s) used do(es) not come from a pump dispenser 15ozPumpDispr10053558_x ), and possible skin irritations, allergic reactions, break-outs, and infections are sure to rise.  Now don’t get me wrong, this is NOT to say that you should treat your friends like they’re walking diseases because they are not!  il_570xN.215889927 WE LOVE OUR FRIENDS!! By now, everyone should know how to be clean:  how to bathe at least once a day and pay particular attention to vital areas, how to brush their teeth how ever many times in a day (as needed or mandated by a dentist), how to maintain & style their hair (or go to a hair salon), how to wash our hands before leaving a public restroom or handling someone else’s food.  However, it is imperative to understand that as we are all friends, we may like the same things but we do not DO the same things.  We do not all shampoo & condition our hairs the same, we do not cleanse & moisturize the same, we do not use the same products by routine (therefore using a new product, even on the strength of a friend’s recommendation or new purchase, could affect your level of personal hygiene).  We may like the same foods but our diets are different, and our bodies digest food, shed skin, grow hair, and perspire differently.

Imagine how unsanitary it can be, if you were to use the lip gloss of a friend who recently had a fever blister . . .

Imagine how unsanitary it can be, if you were to wash your face with the same cloth of a friend who recently played a sport, and returned sweaty . . .

Imagine how unsanitary it can be, if you were to brush your hair with the same brush of a friend who hasn’t washed her hair in about a week . . .


Our bodies respond differently to the air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we eat, the water we bathe in, the products we apply & remove, and the surrounding atmosphere in its entirety.  What your friend can handle, you might not be able to.  And vice-versa.

While we love each other, we must remember to protect ourselves . . . sometimes from each other.  Let’s be mindful of the personal items we share; our products that we allow our friends to use.  Young Girls, let’s be clean and sanitary!!

Part 2:  Appearance . . . coming next Friday.  Stay tuned!


Kahlelah, “MYGirls”

MYGirls: Blog Series Update

Hi there young girls!!


As you may have already read, GU4AP’s “MYGirls” Program has implemented the “MYGirls” Blog Series, a collection of entries zeroing in on issues that affect young girls, ages 8-18.  The “MYGirls” Blog Series will offer sound advice by illustrating fictitious scenarios that may be familiar in the lives of our girls, as well as personal experience(s) from our Mentors.  The blog series will also open the opportunity for discussions between our Mentors and Mentees, to hopefully break down any fear or shyness when approaching certain subject matter.


At first, we had no set time over the next few months (or however much time we figured it would take) as to when the blogs would be posted for viewing . . . and we realized that THAT needed to change, into a more structured method.  That being said, the “MYGirls” Blog Series will be issued every Friday, at 6:00pm, and will contain blog entries based on the following subjects:


  • Social Media Etiquette
  • Appearance & Personal Hygiene (now broken into two parts)
  • Academics
  • Leadership & Self-Esteem
    –Competition, “Frenemies”
  • Safety
    –Rape, Self-Defense
  • Health


There will be certain blog entries specifically for our girls, ages 12-18 (for these entries, we do advise having a parent or legal guardian present, to read along with you):


  • Commitment, Loyalty, and Relationships
    –Contraception, Sex
  • Health


Today’s blog will be Part 1:  Personal Hygiene, at 6:00pm this evening.


We at Girls Unite 4 A Purpose (GU4AP) want you young girls to know that we are here for you.  We know that you may have questions, concerns, and worries, and we hope that the information we share will give you insight, along with the courage to press forward through life’s challenges.


You have a safe space in the “MYGirls” Program . . . girls-hanging-out-590x295 . . . consider this your 2nd home!!


–Kahlelah, “MYGirls”

Effective Studying Tips For College


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Greetings and Blessings!!

I hope you ladies are doing well! I wanted to share with you all some great effective studying tips. Learning how to study can be tricky, but with the right tips and ticks, you can conqueror your studying woes. Effective studying habits are pretty much the essential key to having a successful college career. So here are some great studying tips.



Make a Study Guide

Whether or not your professor or teacher gives you a study guide for an exam, making a study guide is very helpful when studying for tests. Go through the textbook, notes, and any other material and write down any information that you think may be on the test such as important concepts, definitions, and formulas.

Make Flash Cards

Flash cards are helpful tools in remembering vocabulary, formulas, and key concepts. They are also easy to carry around with you so you can review them anytime. Also, highlighters works wonders when it comes to studying information that is important.

Quiz Yourself

To ensure that you are prepared for your test, make a mock quiz to test how well you know the material. Write down a list of keywords or questions and make sure to leave room underneath each one. Then, pretend that you’re taking the test and write down as much as you can.

Set Time Goals

Setting time goals for yourself will help make sure that you stay on track especially when you have time constraints.

Remember to Take Breaks

Don’t try and cram all the information that you are reading and don’t try to cram it all in the day before or day of your test or exam! You need to take short breaks to allow your brain to process and retain the information. Otherwise, you may confuse yourself or forget something you have already studied. Taking a 10-15 min study break is pretty much standard, you don’t want to take too long of a break because you’ll never get back to studying!

Don’t Study Alone

If you find that you can’t study in total silence then play some music on low but if you find yourself becoming distracted by it then find another method. If studying alone works for you then great! But there is nothing wrong with scheduling and meeting up with some of your classmates to study together.

Get lots of sleep

Make sure that you are getting a full night of sleep. By getting a full night of sleep, you are usually more alert, more focused and learn things easier. Try to keep your sleep schedule as consistent as possible.


Everyone is different, what may work for one may not work for another. So find what works for you, everyone can develop effective study habits. Also,  remember to not stress yourself out about anything. If you don’t do as well on your first test, quiz, or exam its okay. Develop a study habit and you’ll do great the next time! Hope you all find these tips useful and helpful!!


Be Blessed


An open letter to all incoming college freshman


Greetings and Blessings!!

Hope you ladies are doing well!! I hope for those who have started school this week that you are getting comfortable with getting familiar with your classes, professors/teachers, and the campus itself. For those who are looking to start next week, I hope you are prepared and focused and excited for this new adventure. The first couple of weeks can be rather nerve racking because you are going all over campus trying to find this building or that building where your class is being held in. If you have a map of the campus, I advise that you use it so that you can familiarize yourself with where the different buildings are on your college campus. Also, there is nothing wrong with asking another student or faculty member where a particular building is. There are many welcome back activities that will be taking place during this time as well. These welcome back activities are a great way to meet and greet and interact with fellow incoming freshman and upper classmen as well.

Take and embrace these first couple of weeks in because once they are over it will be time for you to focus on your schoolwork. Your studies are important and it is important that you find a balance that works for you of dedicating time to study and also find some time to have fun. Yes, you will have to put your phone away while you are in class. There is nothing that you will miss on social media for that time you are in class! No professor or teacher likes when a student(s) is on their phone while they are giving a lecture! You may think your professor or teacher doesn’t notice when you check your phone but they do! Don’t skip class no matter how boring it may be, if you miss a day you miss so much! Don’t stress yourself out too much and you will make mistakes and it is okay! This is your time to find out who you are and for you to embrace the uncertainties and let them help guide you to your inner self and your true calling. You don’t have to have everything figured out now and no one excepts you to. So take these next four or five years of your college experience and embrace the challenges, struggles, ups and downs, good and bad, and let it develop you into the person that God wants you to be. I pray that you all have great first semester and I look forward to continue writing about the college experience.

Be Blessed


Campus Involvement


Greetings and Blessings!!!

Hope you ladies are doing well and are getting prepared to start school!! In this post I would like to talk to you about becoming involved in extra curricular activities. Getting involved on campus will help you become familiar with your respective college or university and the surrounding community. There are a number of different benefits associated with becoming involved in college activities. The most essential and personal one would be connecting. You will be able to forge many friendships with individuals. You will meet and interrelate with people from all walks of life not only from your school but other schools as well. Also, you will be able to interact and network with diverse professionals within their field and other supportive fields. Being able to make these connections will help you feel included as well as being exposed to the diverse culture, opinions, and opportunities. Getting involved will also be beneficial in terms of that it will enrich your college experience. The things that you learn while participating in extracurricular activities can have a significant impact on your college life and on your future career.

Another benefit would be of course having fun! The main purpose in attending school is for you to further your education but it is important to find some form of release from all that studying because it can become overwhelming. So, getting involved with extracurricular activities and having fun will help you relax and assuage any anxiety about your classes.



Ways to Get Involved 

First, you must look at your planner to make sure there is time to devote to possible activities. It is important that you  avoid over extending yourself to prevent undue stress and/or making a commitment that you are unable to fulfill.

Second, you can go to the Student Activities Office to find out the different organizations and programs existing on campus. You can become part of a sports team, member of a dance team, representatives in the student government (SGA), members or officers of a social club, debate team, etc.

Third, attend club fairs and other events to learn as much as possible about the different organizations and activities to make sure these are a good fit. Choose things that appeal to you and that may be of use later once you graduate. Get all the information you can about the organization or activity before committing or signing up with that group!!

Many of these organizations require you to keep and maintain a certain GPA in order to join and to remain as members therefore, you can’t afford to ignore your studies. It is important that you find the balance between school work and extracurricular activities. There is a benefit in taking a total break from studying it helps you become refreshed and get back to studying with more energy. It is not mandatory to become involved in something during your college years. But it is helpfully and it could open the door to many opportunities and possibilities. Hope you find this post helpful!!!


Be Blessed






Greetings and Blessings!!!

Hope you ladies are doing well!! In this post I wanted to talk about the one thing that most of us don’t like to do and that is budgeting. Budgeting requires a lot of discipline and in the long run it will be of great help to you as you get older. When I went away to school I honestly did not use my money wisely as I should have. If I was going to the mall or out to eat with friends, I didn’t pay attention to what and how I was spending the money I had. I did pay for it sometimes in terms of if I needed something I didn’t have the finances to get it. I learned the important difference between “wants” versus “needs”. Being a young adult now, its still challenging because sometimes I see something and in my head I’m like I gotta have it but I know deep down I don’t need said item(s) right at that moment.



Setting and sticking to a monthly budget can give you peace of mind. With a budget in place, you can more effectively manage your money, save for large expenses, and prepare for emergencies. Keep in mind that even though a budget is there to help you it is important  that you don’t stress out over it. This is something that you will work and gradually learn about as you get older. It’s almost impossible to follow a budget 100% of the time. No matter how disciplined you may be, you may overspend now and again. Forgive yourself for any small errors. So here are some tips that can help you when it comes to having a budget.





1. Budget your money. First, assess how much you’re going to have available for the school year (you can budget by semester or quarter if you like). This includes the amount you’re starting with from savings and financial aid, as well as the amount you’ll bring in each week through work study, a part-time job or other means. Then divide the total by the number of weeks in the term, and that gives you a good idea of how much money you can spend each week.

But remember that not every week will be exactly the same. One week you may spend less than the allotted amount. Another week you may end up spending a little extra. That’s okay as long as it averages out correctly over the course of the term.

2. Track your spending. Write down how much you spend each week and what you spend it on. This will help you assess where your money is going and give you ideas on where to cut back.

3. Be realistic. As a student on a limited budget, you are not going to be able to afford some of the things you WANT. Most luxuries are going to be few and far between, and some may be eliminated completely. It is important to know and understand that buying one thing means you can’t buy something else, so necessities take priority.

4. Use credit cards only for emergencies. Credit cards can be great to have but in the end it can be just about every college students down fall. There will be times were the temptation to splurge on a new outfit or have a night out with your friends crosses your mind. Especially, if you’ve been living frugally for months at a time. Having a credit card and just swiping it away makes doing very easy! Even though it doesn’t FEEL like you’re paying for them.

Truth be told, you are paying for them. You’re paying INTEREST on the amount you spend. There is a vast majority of college students that end up with student loan debt. Once you graduate six months later it is time to start paying back Sallie Mae or whoever you took out a loan with. Student loan debt PLUS Credit card debt is not a pretty picture!! So if you have a credit card or thinking about applying for one, use it only when necessary.

5. Spread out what expenses you can. The beginning of the academic year tends to bring several large expenses all at once: tuition, fees, meal plan, etc. But some costs can be spread out over the course of the term or the year.

6. If you need help, ask for it. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, attempts to budget your money may not go as you had hoped. When this happens, there is a tendency to avoid asking for help, and you try to work the situation out on your own. Unfortunately, this usually leads to more problems and unnecessary debt. So if you find yourself in serious trouble, go to your family or someone whom you trust. By doing so, you are solving and managing the problem early as well as learning from your mistakes.

So these are just a few tips that can help you when it comes to starting and creating a budget. It’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t go as plan. It’s a learning experience and the more you do it the better you’ll become at it. Hey, I’m still learning (lol) Hope you ladies find this post helpful and useful!!!


Be Blessed



MYGirls: Let’s Talk About Social Media Etiquette

Hello young girls!!

So as I previously stated in the introduction to the “MYGirls” Blog Series, we will post various blog entries over the next few months (or how ever long it may take), on topics like Social Media Etiquette, Appearance & Personal Hygiene (and our blogger Emily Jean is ideal to follow for beauty & skin care tips), Academics (our blogger Christina is ideal to follow for education tips), Leadership & Self-Esteem, and more! These blog entries are here for you to read while you are still on summer break (as well as while in school), will serve as helpful guides filled with knowledge, typically gained from experience, to assist you as you leave your mark in the free world of “cyberspace.”


Social media are very powerful tools used to make personal, political, social, fashion, religious, educational, and familial statements . . . through a wide range of discuss topics. All forms of social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, etc.) allow users to reach out to a large group of people, depending on the sizes of their friendslists, in a short period of time. And depending on the size of a user’s following, said statements can be made on either a national or international level. Imagine the amount of social power!!

The power of social media is so strong, that it can make you . . . or break you. The power of social media can build up or tear down your reputation. The power of social media can leave others thinking your are pretty awesome, or believing things about you that go against your character.


Have you taken the time to assess what’s in your social media?  Our online profiles allow us to display parts of us that we want others to see and know.  However, some people might gather different messages–you want people to see or know vs. who and what you really are–and the confusion eventually makes its way to the surface.  And that is how others form their perceptions of you.

So, what kind of social media users are you in your friendslists?

  1. Do you know the Over-Sharer?  She’s the one who shares every waking moment of her life, from the time she yawned when she first woke up in the morning, to the color of toothpaste she uses, to the temperature she set the oven on to bake biscuits for breakfast.  Note how those three examples are just in the morning . . . because the Over-Sharer will also have a list of afternoon movements, and evening step-by-step commentary.  People are interested in current happenings, but nobody needs to know how many steps there are from your bedroom to the bathroom, or any other behind-the-scenes footage of things majority of your friends do everyday.
  2. Do you know the Semi-Celebrity?  She’s the one who makes it a point to share celebrity-oriented status updates.   She may or may not do any real work in the entertainment industry, but that does not stop her from blasting her industry involvement to her world of viewers.  She wants to feel important, like a hot topic (perhaps influenced by gossip media), so majority of her posts are of pictures posed with celebrities, parties, events at which she managed to walk to red carpet, and anything else that can persuade people to identify her with Hollywood.  She looks for haters for self-validation.
  3. Do you know the Bragger?  She, similar to the Semi-Celebrity, makes it a point to post everything new in her life, especially expensive purchases.  She will make sure to post pictures of the new items purchased by her, her parents, or even her boyfriend:  wardrobe selections, expensive designer labels, new or newly-washed car (particularly if she or someone in her life has managed to purchase a Mercedes, BMW, Lexus, or any other luxury vehicle), her new hairstyle, her new makeup collection or makeup job done by the makeup artist from the makeup store.  Unfortunately, her aim is to build herself up by making others jealous or envious, with various status updates and photos uploaded in the spirit of “I have one, you don’t.”  She, like the Semi-Celebrity, also looks for haters for self-validation.
  4. Do you know the Pessimist?  She is the one who sees everything negatively in life.  Nothing positive comes from her.  Instead of being happy for waking up in the morning, she is irritated that she woke up a few minutes before her alarm.  Instead of being happy about heading to work, she is frustrated about traffic (something completely out of her control).  Every post has #FML, “forget my life” (even though the F word isn’t exactly “forget”) attached at the end.  A neighbor is always bothering her.  A family member is always getting on her nerves.  Everyone is hating on her.
  5. Do you know the Argument Lover?  She’s the one who debates every political bill, every current event, every news story, every historical fact, every theory, every social construct, every double standard, every form of racism, prejudice, discrimination, and social injustice, for the sake of forcing her views onto others with no regard to differences in views and opinions.  She does not rest until everyone with whom she is arguing (though she might think she is “debating”), sees her point, and she does not understand how people are allowed to “agree to disagree.”  She may feel threatened by someone who does not share the same views and opinions as hers, and quickly shuts downs if she cannot dominate a discussion.
  6. Do you know the Over-Sexual Attention Seeker?  She is the one who dresses way too sexy (short shorts, tight skirts, dresses & jeans, low-cut tops exposing her cleavage, wearing only bra & panties, etc.), not appropriate for her age, and takes suggestive photos to upload in order to get attention from boys.  She sees how some women conduct themselves in entertainment media (music videos, magazines, TV shows, movies), and attempts to emulate what she sees, because she feels that is what gets boys to like her or find her attractive.  Unfortunately she gets her self-image of beauty from the way others see her . . . sexually.
  7. Do you know the Know-It-All?  She is the one who feels as though she has the answer for everything, much like the Argument Lover.  With the exception of things that have only one right answer, she feels as though her answers to various topics are the only answers that anyone can, or should, be able to think of.  She always “knows” about everything, has seen and done everything, and can give you a better recount of everything than if you were to try anything yourself.


I think at some point, everyone can find at least one person in their friendslist who fits into one of these descriptions.  Be sure to assess your friends, and then see about yourself.  Check how YOU utilize social media.  Why?  Because people are watching, and not just your friends.  Your family members are watching.  Your teachers, school officials, and/or coaches could be watching.  The founders and presidents of your clubs & organizations could be watching.  If any of you managed to get summer jobs, your bosses could be watching, and many companies will hire or fire you based on your online profiles.  Be mindful that you could very well fall into one of these descriptions.  From experience, I’ve fallen into at least three of these categories before!!

Use social media to your advantage.  Make the most of your online profiles, in a positive light.  Let people know you know goodness, not drama.  Let people see you as a person to whom they can come for inspiration.  You’re an awesome young girl . . . show the world!!

-Kahlelah, “MYGirls”

Choosing a Major/Minor



Greetings and Blessings!!!

Hope you ladies are doing well and are getting geared up to go back to school. For the ladies who are getting prepared for college I hoped you enjoy reading the off to college checklist post. In this post I would like to talk to you about choosing (declaring) a major and/or minor. You will have an academic adviser to help you when you are enrolled in your basic requirements but once you declare a major you will have an academic adviser for that specific department that you will be majoring in. Your academic adviser will be there to help and guide you through during your time as an undergrad. Get to know them build a rapport with them they are there to help you! Now, when you first start off in your classes, you will be taking pretty much your basic requirements (classes) they are just like  refresher courses from high school. Yes, as silly as these classes may seem it is important that you take these classes seriously and pass them. You don’t want anything to come back and prevent you from graduating.



I believe that most schools would look for you to declare a major and/or minor by the middle of your sophomore year if you haven’t done so during your first year. (I didn’t declare my major until my junior year and I’ll say why towards the end of the post) For some this can be an easy decision because they already have an idea as to what they want to pursue a career in while for others it can be a bit overwhelming.  Finding the right major is a process and it is okay if you don’t know right away what you want to major in. When you are thinking about choosing a major and/or minor it is a good idea to have an invested interest in something. Something that you have a passion for and that you can see yourself doing and wouldn’t consider it a job. It could be arts, music, politics, fashion, photography etc. It is good to get advice or opinions from fellow classmates, friends, family, and your adviser. But whatever you decide it is ultimately up to YOU!! It is important that you seek and pray to God for guidance and direction as well. It is important that you follow your heart. Don’t let the opinions of others sway you from choosing what you want to do to what they want you to. As you go through life, you will learn that it is important to do what makes you happy and not settle. If God gave you a vision then nothing else matters. It is okay if everyone doesn’t understand your vision because he gave it to you not them.

When it comes to minors all departments don’t require you to have a minor along with what your majoring in. But for those that do, a minor is a secondary field that you want to specialize in while you are working on your major. Your major is what your intended career is, but your minor is something you pursue because of your personal interests. With minors you typically have to maintain an C or above in order to not retake any classes and the same goes for what you are majoring in.

I did say I was going to say why I didn’t declare my major til my junior year and this is why when I transferred to the school I received my BA from I was taking Biology courses. I thought I wanted to go to med school and work in a hospital. But I wasn’t as excited and engaged as one should be. So one day I was sitting in my class and physically I was there but mentally my mind was elsewhere. It wasn’t in my heart to do as I thought before. I talked to my adviser and she suggested that I pray about it and I did. I ended up transferring out that department and transferring to the College of Liberal Arts Department and declaring my major as Psychology. It was the best decision that I made and God set it on my heart to do. Yes, there were people who had their opinions about it but it didn’t matter. I was following my heart and I have no regrets about it!

I hope you ladies enjoy reading this post and find it helpful! Remember seek God and follow your heart in all that you do!


Be Blessed



Off-to-College Checklist


Greetings and Blessings!!!!

Hope you ladies are enjoying your summer break!!! But as we all know some good things must come to an end and that means summer is almost over and it will be time to get back to school. Some of you will be entering into middle school, high school, and college. For those of you who are entering into college you are about to embark on an incredible journey that will set the foundation of entering into adulthood. During this time you will experience an abundance of things that will help you and guide you into figuring and finding who you are.

Whether you are leaving off to go to college or staying near home and attending a local university, it is important that you take items that you will need and will be able to fit into your dorm room. But first, you have to make sure you have a checklist.  This checklist helps you in becoming organized but it will help you in getting and having all your basic essential items that you need. The first will be making sure you have all of your paperwork together. This paperwork includes making sure you have your FAFSA filled out and completed, having and making copies of your SAT/ACT test scores, and transcripts. When I was in undergrad I learned to make copies of EVERYTHING and keep the original for myself. I have heard many of times about the financial aid office at my school losing or misplacing a student’s paperwork. You will only need this paperwork when dealing with the financial aid office, you don’t have to carry it around everywhere with you. So in order to avoid anything from happening make sure you have all your important documents placed in a folder. You will be assigned a financial aid counselor and it they will help you with everything pertaining to financial assistance for school. So it is good to build a rapport with them because they will be there to help you if you have any concerns or questions.

The next thing to tackle would be getting things for you to live in your dorm room. Now, I did live in a dorm room up until I transferred to another school and those rooms are not spacious and you really have limited space to put everything once you unpack and get settled in. All dorm rooms have a twin size bed, dresser drawer, closet, mini-refrigerator, and a desk. So it is important that you take with you what you need from home but you can also buy what you need when you get there as well.


  • Clothes – The number and kind of clothes you plan to pack will probably depend on the weather conditions of your college, your budget, how often you plan to do laundry and the size of your closet. That said; do not forget essentials such as hangers, belts, underwear, socks, scarves, pajamas and a weather proof jacket. A pair of ballet flats or sandals, boots, and sneakers.
  • Bedding 2 to 3 sets of extra-long twin sheets, pillowcases, a memory foam mattress pad and a quilt.
  • Toiletries– Other than your regular make-up, skin and hair care items, essentials such as a small mirror, nail clippers, nail file, tweezers and wet wipes will come in handy.  Be sure to pack bath time essentials such as toilet paper, bath and hand towels, a shower caddy, soap dish, bathrobe and flip-flops.
  • KitsA tool kit (very necessary), a sewing kit and a first-aid kit which includes vitamins, allergy meds, and pain killers.


  • Dorm decoration some colorful rugs, personal mementos, framed  pictures and wall posters can brighten up your dorm room and make you feel more at home.
  • Dorm Cleaning products and supplies-broom, dustpan, cleaning rags and a wastepaper basket.
  • Kitchen essentials– utensils, a set of basic cookware, mini-fridge (if your dorm doesn’t already have one), dish soap, kitchen towels, storage containers, can and bottle openers, Saran wrap and aluminum foil, chip clips, water, and some disposable utensils.
  • Laundry itemssuch as a laundry hamper or bag, detergent, a clothesline or drying rack and rolls of quarters for laundry.
  • Electronic items– such as a blow dryer, TV, laptop, iron, radio alarm clock, phone, headphones, chargers, batteries, hand-held vacuum, an extension Cord (if allowed by the college) and a power strip.


  • Writing essentials– such as pens, pencils, erasers, sharpeners, notebooks, loose-leaf college-ruled filler paper, folders, binders and computer paper to print out assignments.
  • Organizational supplies– such as post-its, thumbtacks, glue sticks, scissors, scotch tape, stapler, paper clips, a desk organizer and a backpack.
  • Study tools– such as index cards, highlighters and permanent markers, USB drives, study lamp or clip-on reading light, clipboard, dictionary  and calculator.


  • A couple of combo locks– for safeguarding valuable stuff in your dorm room or you can purchase a lock-box.
  • Passport or state ID– for colleges and university travel abroad programs.
  • Miscellaneous items– Stamps, envelopes, some favorite books, under-bed storage, umbrellas and duct tape.

These items are pretty much the basics of what you’ll need for living in your dorm room. As you progress each semester, you’ll develop your own pattern in what you need and what you don’t need. Also, having a roommate and interacting and getting to know the other young ladies in your dorm will be an exciting time. Being able to develop a bond and friendships with them is one of the things that’s needed during your first semester of college. Living in a dorm and being right on campus is a great experience.

I enjoyed writing this post, it took me back to when I was just starting off as a freshman in college and how I had to learn and find my own way but I was also glad to have help along the way! So I hope you ladies that are getting ready to start college find this post helpful and I look forward to writing more post about the college experience!!!

Be Blessed




Girls Unite 4 A Purpose, “MYGirls” Blog Series

Greetings beautiful young girls!!


Welcome to Girls Unite 4 A Purpose!!  GU4AP is an organization geared towards inspiring and uplifting females, from young girls to adults, in efforts to encourage confidence, leadership, and self-esteem, as they move through life’s various endeavors & obstacles.  We seek to stress to importance of love & respect for one another, teamwork, cultivating strong alliances & friendships, and service to others.

That being said, GU4AP would like to introduce the “MYGirls” Blog Series, a collection of entries zeroing in on issues that affect young girls, ages 8-18.  The “MYGirls” Blog Series will offer sound advice by illustrating fictitious scenarios that may be familiar in the lives of our girls, as well as personal experience(s) from our Mentors.  The blog series will also open the opportunity for discussions between our Mentors and Mentees, to hopefully break down any fear or shyness when approaching certain subject matter.

Over the next few months (or however much time it may take), the “MYGirls” Blog Series will contain blog entries based on the following subjects:


  • Social Media Etiquette
  • Appearance & Personal Hygiene
  • Academics
  • Leadership & Self-Esteem
    –Competition, “Frenemies”
  • Safety
    –Rape, Self-Defense
  • Health


There will be certain blog entries specifically for our girls, ages 12-18 (for these entries, we do advise having a parent or legal guardian present, to read along with you):


  • Commitment, Loyalty, and Relationships
    –Contraception, Sex
  • Health


We at Girls Unite 4 A Purpose (GU4AP) want you young girls to know that we are here for you.  We know that you may have questions, concerns, and worries, and we hope that the information we share will give you insight, along with the courage to press forward through life’s challenges.  You have a safe space in the “MYGirls” Program . . . consider this your 2nd home!!


–Kahlelah, “MYGirls”


GU4AP’s 1st annual “Park Beautification Day,” 7/12/14

Whew! What a day it was . . .

As we Mentors made our ways from our respective residences to Towngate Memorial Park in Moreno Valley, CA, we hadn’t the slightest idea of what would be the overall outcome of our 1st annual Girls Unite 4 A Purpose “Park Beautification” event.  We locked in the location, secured our spot for a park bench & BBQ pit, divided the logistics between our awesome Founding CEO & Director of Queens Unite Everywhere (QUE), our Director of Public Relations & “MYGirls,” and Breyawna our fabulous Events Coordinator.  We had Lia, our Mentor & resident Beauty Queen (crowned Miss California Plus America 2014) set up the decorations which turned our day into a beautiful luau . . . and of course, we brought the beverages, food & fixings, along with the #BanBossy workshop supplies and gift bags for all attendees.

Lastly, we had Sasha, Omolara, Faith, and Ty’Kea, our eager Volunteers  who soon became new Mentors. 20140712_111042

Yet, we were short the most important element:  Mentees.

Determined to expect the unexpected and not forget about the reason for the day, we at GU4AP decided to take a small detour, redirecting our focus to training the new Mentors, while leaving the invitation open to any young girl interested in what we had going on.  Prepping our new Mentors for their future Mentor/Mentee relationships, we stressed the importance of communication, leadership, self-esteem, and teamwork; well into our morning #BanBossy workshop, our Mentors were able to exercise leadership and initiative by taking gift bags to a mother and grandmother near our setup, for them to take home to any young girls in their families.



Our day was running smoothly.  Until a minor setback made it get much smoother . . .

A malfunction with the luau decorations opened up the door of opportunity:  a cluster of our balloons flew a few yards away from our spot, which caught the attention of a group of 5 young girls, ranging from ages 8 to 16.  Shy at first, the girls found interest in GU4AP, and opted to join us for the entire event duration.  The exchanges of names, issuance of food & beverages, gifting of bags, and meeting of parents & sharing of our organization’s purpose, recharged the motivation within all of us to press forward in our quest to reach out to young girls.  Before our very eyes, we saw how expecting the unexpected made for the enjoyment and ending of an overall perfect day!


So, WHY did we do what we did on Saturday morning?  WHY did we reach out to young girls in the communities?

Because there are so many young girls who feel alone, invisible, objectified, scared, silenced, unattractive, unsure of themselves.  There are so many young girls in our communities who don’t have positive role models to look up to.  There are so many young girls who lack goals, aspirations, who have never made any life plans, whether short term or long term.  There are so many young girls with questions, concerns, worries about life, school, the future, and especially what it means to be a Woman. There are so many young girls in our communities who turn to negative entities as outlets.  There are so many young girls who lack confidence, and are yearning for positive ways to express themselves.     20140712_110937



We at Girls Unite 4 A Purpose (GU4AP), which houses Queens Unite Everywhere (QUE) and “MYGirls,” aim to inspire and uplift the young girls in our respective communities, and around the world when our power and outreach increases.  Through activities, workshops, leadership & team-building exercises, writing projects and more, we believe that our work will greatly impact the lives of our young girls, and influence them to be the best of themselves that they could ever be.


Parents, PLEASE get your young girls involved.  If you have daughters, nieces, granddaughters, Goddaughters, etc . . . GU4AP welcomes you!


-Kahlelah, “MYGirls”


July Pamper Day

Hello everybody!

I’ve decided that on the second Tuesday of each month I shall be doing a little Pamper Day post! These posts will go through some products I’ve used – and loved – and have helped me to relax, helped my skin etc. Essentially, it’s a quick little review on some beautiful products that are fantastic to use when you’re feeling down and you need to be pampered!

First off, skincare! Thanks to a little God send of a beauty box I am subscribed to, I received these little miracles known as the wake-up under eye patches, or: Puffy the Eye Bag Slayer!

photo 4


To be quite honest, I was very skeptical about them before I used them, but the results were wonderful! I suffer with really bad dark under eye circles, so sometimes in a morning when I look in the mirror I just think “urrrrgghhhhh what can I do with this?!”. Simple. All you have to do is take an under eye patch out of the slip it’s in, apply it directly under your eye and make sure it’s all smooth and not creased or wrinkling up. You leave it there for 15 minutes and you’re all done! Overall, these little patches make you look that little bit more awake and fresh in the morning! Genius!

photo-3My before and after photo

Of course, no pamper day can be carried through without a face mask! I may have mentioned this incredible product before on this blog, but Glamglow Supermud is just BEAUTIFUL. It leaves your skin so flawless! As you should with any other beauty product, don’t overuse it! People can occasionally put a fantastic product down as being awful, simply because they’re misusing and overusing it. If you overuse a product, it can make your skin so much worse – either greasier or uncomfortably dry. Supermud pulls out all of the impurities in your skin, so naturally your skin can feel a little dry after – so if this product is overused, it really can dry up your skin and it’ll end up taking those good, natural oils out of your skin too (as that will be all there is there for it to suck up!).

Another beautifully gross product to use is Bioré Deep Cleansing Pore Strips. My friend Amber recommended these to me, and I’ve never looked back! They feel a little strange and uncomfortable at first, but they are worth it! After you’ve removed your face mask, leave your nose a little damp and apply a nose strip. Leave for about 10 minutes, remove and check out all of the gross garbage the strip has literally PULLED out of your pores! It is so disgusting, but admittedly, it’s a little satisfying to see that all of the bad stuff is being taken out of your skin!

photo 2

Last but not least, a pamper day is never complete with a nice, relaxing soak in the bath! But what better way to do it than with a bath bomb?! Natural bath bombs made by Lush Cosmetics are currently my absolutely favourite. They smell beautiful and they look amazing and fun! The one shown in the photo below is called Dragon Egg, and yes it is simply incredible. After it fizzes away a few layers letting off what looks like multicoloured confetti into the bath, the centre is cracked into and it starts fizzing, POPPING (there’s those little popping crystal things in there too!) and letting out this beautiful orange cloud into the water. It is amazing! Also, don’t forget to light a couple of candles, get a book, put some nice relaxing music on and just chill out for some time in that brightly coloured, popping and fizzing bath!



photo 2 copy

Have a happy pamper day, ladies!

Emily Jean

Make-Up Do’s and Don’ts

Hello again everybody!

It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve made a post, which really isn’t great! Things have started to become a little hectic all of a sudden at work and I’m finding myself with very little spare time to get anything done! I’m hoping over the next couple of weeks that will change so that I can focus on blogging and studying again!

Today I’m going to talk through what, in industry, is considered to be the proper order of make-up application and also some do’s and don’ts for mature make-up, glass wearers and contact lens wearers.

When studying the make-up unit at college, we were all a little baffled to learn there is a certain order in which products should be applied. I think we were all a little baffled as of course, we’ve all been applying our own make-up for years, but never really considered there being a “correct” order or applying it! Of course foundation goes before blusher and eye-make up etc. But to hear there was more to it was a little unusual. Some people apply eyeliner before mascara, whereas others apply it after. Some people leave blusher until last, whereas others do it straight after foundation. Some people apply lipstick after their foundation and blusher, whereas others will move onto their eye make-up first! The differences in how people apply their make-up is endless, it’s all down to preference. However, when working on client’s, we’ve learnt there is an order in which you need to apply the make-up.

1. Cleanse the skin and remove any already applied make-up. This ensures all old make-up and dirt is removed so you have a clean canvas.

2. Tone

3. Moisturise! This gives the skin a smooth base to apply your make-up onto, as well as hydrating your skin.

Steps 1-3; cleansing, toning and moisturising is an important part of your daily skincare routine! My first post on MYGirls was based on identifying your skin type in order to learn which products will suit your skin type best! You can find this post, here! I hope it helps.

4. Apply any skin correcting concealers. See my previous post on skin correcting techniques and tips to help you out; here!

5. Apply your foundation. Foundation should always blend into your skin colour perfectly! You can always mix a dark and a lighter foundation together to create the perfect shade for your skin. Always be sure to check that your foundation blends into your hair line and your neck so that there are no sharp, unblended areas of foundation.

6. Blemish concealers. Apply the blemish concealers, the colour closest to your skin type, over any blemishes you wish to hide. This also includes covering up dark under eye circles, thread veins, moles, spots and dark skin pigmentation.

7. If you are using cream products, such as highlighters, shaders, blushers or eye shadows – now is the time to apply them! After applying your cream products, use a loose powder over them to set them.

Step 7 and 8 is when you should be contouring, if you choose to! My post on the basics of contouring may come in use if you wish to try it out! You can find that post, here!

8. If you are NOT using cream products, and are using powder products, ignore step 7. Apply your powder products as normal.

9. Now it’s time for eyeliner! Apply your eyeliner as you wish to. See my previous post on eyeliner techniques to give you some ideas; here!

10. Mascara. Apply a coat or two of mascara to the upper lashes first, then apply to the bottom lashes.

11. Eyebrow pencil. Always apply it in light strokes so that it doesn’t come off patchy or too dark for your hair.

12. Lipliner. Liner helps to enhance the shape to your lips neaps and flawlessly, as well as helping the life of your lipstick last! From the centre of your lips, outwards, work your way around carefully and steadily to create a nice, crisp and defined lip.

25. Lipstick/lipgloss. Apply a couple of coats for a beautiful and even finish! And you’re done!

Mature Make-up Do’s and Don’ts


  • Use a cream foundation (apply with a sponge)
  • Use a cream or liquid blusher (apply with a sponge)
  • Use a light/neutral covering powder
  • Accentuate the eyebrows with an eyebrow pencil
  • Only apply the mascara to the upper lashes
  • Be sure to use non-run mascara
  • Correct any bleeding from the lipstick
  • Press a damp cottonpad over the face – this gives a more natural, less matte finish!


  • Apply too much foundation around wrinkles
  • Apply powder if the skin is very dry
  • Apply powder around the eye area
  • Apply cream eye shadow to “crepey” eyelids!
  • Apply mascara to the lower lashes
  • Apply eyeliner or kohl
  • Apply eyeshadow to the lower lid
  • Use pearlised eye shadows or contour cosmetics

Tips for a Glass Wearer’s Make-Up

If you are longsighted, your eyes behind glasses can look pinheaded. You should use clear colours and avoid white, pearly eye shadows as it will reflect on the lenses of your glasses. You need to really focus on lengthening and enlarging the appearance of your eyes. You can accentuate the eye socket by applying a darker shadow to the crease of your eye, make sure to blend it all in neatly. If you use false lashes, they should be short but thick – long ones will touch the lenses of your glasses and cause discomfort! Avoid using kohl eyeliner on the inner rim of your eyes, as it can make them look smaller!

If you are short sighted, your eyes tend to look enlarged and can look a little distorted behind the lenses. Try to avoid bright and powdery eyeshadows, and do not try to accentuate the eye socket as this can actually be quite ageing behind these glasses! If you wish to use eyelashes, preferably choose individual eyelashes. If your lenses are tinted, definitely wear black mascara, and remember to try and use eyeliner sparingly!

Tips for a Contact Lens Wearer’s Make-Up

As you should know, if you wear contacts you should not apply make-up after you have put your contacts in, and you should also take them out before removing your make-up.

DON’T use mascaras with filaments or ones that are protein enriched.
DO use non-perfumed and allergy tested products, you don’t want to cause any irritation to your eyes with or without contacts in anyway!
DON’T use powdery eye shadows, any bits that fall into your eyes will feel very scratchy and unbearable!
DO use products with a low oil content. If any oily products enter your eyes, they may cause a few problems with your contacts!
DON’T use heavily pearlised products.
DON’T use kohl eyeliner on the inner rim of the eyes
DON’T use hairspray after inserting your lenses! You should always spray it before putting them in.

Thank you for reading, ladies! I hope this post comes in use to you.

Emily Jean

Eyeliner Techniques


Today I’m just going to go through some simple and basic eyeliner techniques. Unfortunately this is a very short post, however I hope that it can inspire some of your eyeliner techniques and the sources for these images can help you try out new techniques!

ce886d33d989f851fd25a849552ef10bImage found on Pinterest



1. A very subtle technique with a more natural look. You apply a very fine line to your upper lid and smudge the pencil or wet liquid eyeliner with a brush.

photo 4

cover girl # 17b
Imagine found here


2. Applying a slightly thicker area in the middle of the upper lid can create a rounder and fuller looking eye.

photo 1

eyeliner thicker in middleImage found here


3. To make your eyes look larger, you can apply eyeliner to only the outer corners of your eye.

photo 2

I found a lovely make-up tutorial in a blog post where this eyeliner technique is used flawlessly and it looks so beautiful! Check out the tutorial here

4. A more dramatic look, and also a very popular one, is to apply liner to the upper lid (and sometimes the bottom) and create a flick (or a wing as most people call it, e.g. “winged eyeliner”). This can also be known as “cat eye” eyeliner. This style varies from person to person based on their preferences, some people like their “wings” to be longer or thicker for a bolder look, whereas some people like just a small wing so it’s not too strong!

photo 3

cat-eye-makeup-1Image found here

I hope you have fun playing and experimenting with your eyeliner techniques! There are some really beautiful looks out there and make-up artists and make-up lovers are constantly coming up with new, fresh, bold, subtle and beautiful eyeliner looks.

Thank you for reading!

Emily Jean

Correcting Minor Imperfections and Blemishes


I’ve been trying to focus on posts that are probably a little bit ‘make-up basic knowledge’ to begin with. I hope nobody minds that I’ve done this so far! I feel it’s a good starting point to me posting on this blog, as it would be a great starting point for any readers who don’t know a lot about make-up and wish to can learn these little tips and tricks, before I start posting any make-up tutorials or reviews!

Photo from Orthofill Blog

This post is focusing on correcting what you may consider as imperfections with a few little make-up tricks.


Concealers come in a variety of different forms. Such as:

  • Liquids – apply with a sponge
  • Powder – apply with brush or cotton wool
  • Stick – apply with brush or fingers
  • Compact – apply with a brush or cotton wool

Not only can you get different forms as above, but you can also purchase different colours; green, lilac, beige/tawny tones. These colours are used for different purposes. The greens are ideal for covering up any redness in your skin, the lilac toned concealers help to cover up any sallow skin, and the beige/tawny toned concealers are your standard skin coloured concealers usually available in a range of shades which are mostly used to cover up blemishes.


  • If you have a highly coloured or vascular complexion, the best thing to do is to use a green based concealer. It’s ideal to apply the green based concealer before you apply your foundation, otherwise if you apply a little too much of the concealer, you can sometimes have the green showing over your foundation. The green base helps to tone down the colour.
  • If you have an uneven blotchy or veined complexions, medium beige and tawny tones can be used to balance the tones of your skin to match and appear less noticeable. If there are any prominent veins you can use skin toned concealers to help cover them up a little more if you wish to.
  • If you have a sallow skin or pigmented complexion a lilac based concealer is ideal. This will tone down the sallow complexion. Again, the same as the green concealer, this should be applied before the foundation. Any pigmentation can be covered with corrective creams before the foundation is applied also.

Minor Imperfections

  • Dark under eye circles

Apply a little concealer under your eyes to cover it up, but be sure to not apply too much. You can also use a lilac based concealer if you prefer.

  • Dehydrated skin

Make sure to use a cream foundation and only a small amount of powder. Powder can make your skin dry up and also can make any dry patches of skin more noticeable! (Trust me, I’ve learnt this from unfortunate experience!) It’s also best to use a cream blusher as opposed to a powder, for the same reason as above!

  • Puffy under eyes

Apply highlighter around the area and shader directly onto the puffy area. Make sure to blend the two areas together nicely so that it’s not noticeable.

  • Thread veins and high colouring

These can be toned down and hidden by using a green toned moisturiser or concealer under your foundation.

  • Lined lips

This is mostly common in more mature people, and if this is the case, you may find that your lipstick can “bleed” into the area surrounding your lips. You can correct this by applying foundation to your lips and setting it with a powder. Next, line your lip shape using a lip pencil or a lip brush, make sure to keep this line slightly within your natural lip line. Using a lip brush, set the liner with a loose powder and then fill in the inside area with colour.

  • Blemishes (spots or whiteheads)

You can actually get medicated concealers, however if not use your normal concealer. Apply a few very thin coats as opposed to one thick one. Make sure that you use a concealer that is as close to your natural skin colour as you can, otherwise this can make blemishes stand out a little more! Concealer shades can be blended together to match your skin tone perfectly.

  • Superfluous hair (unwanted facial hair)

Avoid cake foundations and use liquid, moisturised or all-in-one foundations. Only if necessary, apply a very small amount of powder. Also be careful to apply any products in a downwards motion to avoid clogging any hairs.

  • Age lines

The aim with age lines is to make them appear fuller! Use a lighter coloured foundation to highlight within the folds of these little lines. However, make sure that not too much foundation falls into or settles in these lines, otherwise it can end up making them look like deep lines!

  • Freckles and moles

You can purchase covering foundation creams or blemish sticks which are usually a little thicker and are better to colour up darker marks such as moles. You must be careful to make sure that this cream or blemish stick matches the tone of your foundation perfectly, otherwise they can make the area stand out!

I hope that this little post was helpful to anyone who had any queries about covering up little blemishes and how to do it correctly! Thank you for reading!

Also if anybody wishes for me to write a post on anything in particular, just comment and let me know and I will try and get your requests written up!

Emily Jean

The Basics of Contouring for Your Face Shape

Hello again!

I just want to say thank you to those of you who have read and enjoyed my previous post, I was so happy to be receiving likes on my first post!

Today I’m going to go through some basics that I’ve learnt in college for highlighting and shading and which areas you should focus on for your face shape. Like I said, they are very basic, but I hope it can help you in learning a little about contouring!

Everyone’s face shapes are different, but there are general shapes you can put your face too: oval, oblong, rectangular, heart, square, triangular, round, diamond and inverted triangle. It’s seen that the oval face shape is the ideal shape to have due to the symmetry of the face, so shading and highlighting is all about “correcting” (so to speak) the shape to give the illusion that you have an oval face shape.

Before I jump into things there are a few things to know about shaders and highlighters and a couple of tips:


  • Highlighters should be up to three shades LIGHTER than your skin tone.
  • You can use cream or powder products.
  • Foundation, specialised highlighter products, powders or white/off white/iridescent eye shadows are ideal to use.
  • Highlighting is used to accentuate areas, making them more prominent.
  • Highlighting is especially flattering when applied to your cheekbones!
  • Highlighting can make areas look larger or fuller, depending on how you use your shader alongside it.


  1. Apply down the centre of your nose to make the nose appear longer and thinner.
  2. If you have deep set eyes or dark circles, apply under your eyes to minimise the dark circles.
  3. If you have deep set and small eyes, apply on your eye lids to make your eyes appear larger.
  4. If you have a receding chin and want to bring it forward, apply highlighter onto your chin.
  5. If you wish to make your face appear wider and fuller, apply to your cheeks.
  6. If you would like your neck to appear fuller, apply highlighter to the sides of your neck.


  • Shaders should be up to three shades DARKER than your skin tone.
  • Again, you can use cream or powder products.
  • Shading is used to take attention away from areas by almost fading them away.
  • You should avoid using shaders on areas of your face that may have excessive facial hair.
  • Shading can make areas appear slimmer or smaller if you also highlight in the correct places.


  1. If you have a wide nose and wish to make it appear smaller, apply shader to the sides of your nose.
  2. If you have a wide face and would like it to appear more slender, apply shader to the sides of your face and your cheeks.
  3. If you wish to diminish heavy lids and prominent eyes, apply to your eye lids.
  4. If you wish to make a protruding forehead look less prominent, apply shader to your forehead.
  5. If you want to shorten a long face or to diminish a protruding chin, apply shader to your chin.
  6. If you have a double chin you wish to put into shadow, apply shader under your chin.

Correcting Face Shapes

face shapesImage above found here.

Triangular Face

Typically the triangular face has a wide jaw line and a narrow forehead.
For a triangular face you are focusing on slimming down the bottom area of your face and making the top of your face seem wider. For this you should shade at the sides of you face to your cheeks – without going past the cheekbone. The highlighter should be applied to the corners of your forehead, this will give the illusion that your forehead is slightly wider.

Oblong Face

The oblong face is long and narrow.
If your face is horizontally long you should focus on shading the corners of your face, such as each side of the forehead and the sides of your face and cheeks, again this slims your face down. Highlighter should be placed down the centre of your face – forehead, down your nose and your chin – this gives the illusion that your face is longer vertically, as opposed to horizontally.

If your face is vertically long, avoid highlighting in the middle of your face as this will make your face appear longer. Instead focus on highlighting the sides of your face, so that it appears wider, and shading your forehead and chin to reduce the length.

Oval Face

As said previously, this is seen to be the ideal face shape, so really there is no “correcting” needed as all styles of make-up suit this face shape. However, a bit of highlighter on your cheek bones and some shader below your cheek bones can be really flattering.

Round Face

A round face is noticed as short and broad, with full and rounded cheeks.
If you shade the sides of your cheeks this gives the impression your have a more slender face. If you highlight the centre of your face – forehead, nose and chin – this will lengthen the face.

Heart Shaped Face

Recognised by a wide forehead and your face narrowing to the jaw line.
You should focus on highlighting your jawline to give the impression that it is wider, and shading your forehead will reduce the breadth of it.

Square Face

An angular jaw line and a wide forehead with full cheeks.
You should really focus on shading the corners of your face to give a softer curve to the shape of your face.

I feel like this has been a very short and basic post, but there’s not really a lot to shading and highlighting if you know what face shape you have and how to use both shaders and highlighters to your advantage. When you have applied shaders and highlighters, do not forget to make sure it’s all blended nicely together! You don’t want to have any harsh or noticeable lines between shaders and highlighters, otherwise this won’t give the effect you are hoping for.

I hope this answers anyone’s questions, if they had any, about shading, highlighting and really the basics of contouring!

I do, however, want to introduce you to a lovely young lady I know who uploads some wonderful make-up tutorials onto YouTube. She’s recently done a video of her Flawless Foundation Routine and she uses highlighting and shading in her routine! It’s a really fantastic video and I hope watching Katy doing this routine (applying, blending etc.) will help!

Click here to watch ItsLittleMissOutcast’s video on her Flawless Foundation Routine!

Take care, girls!

Emily Jean

MYGirls Will Host a Giveaway on Your Blog Site!

Mentoring Young Girls loves to give back! We give throughout different communities and we thought it would be cool to give here on the World Wide Web to our supporters. We’re looking for a blogger who has female readers that are between the age group 11-30. We tend to work with girls 11-18 and college girls as well, so we wanted to make it fair and realistic in what we do here. People love giveaways and what other way to thank your supporters than giving something away?

photo (4)

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2014 Campaign: Dear Younger Me…Sign Ups

It’s funny how when you’re young you want to grow up and be 18, 21 or 25 years old? Now that I’m 27 years old going on 28 on Feb. 18th, I sit back & think man, what was I in a rush for? This is not to say that I didn’t enjoy my younger years because I did, but the thought of wanting to be in a relationship, drink, go to clubs, move out, make my own decision which goes hand in hand with paying my own bills and so forth. Like really? What were we as young girls so in a rush to do? That time that we used to go against our parents will..


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2014 Dear Younger Me Campaign: Open Letter to Cathy…

Dear Younger Me:

You’ve always been excited by life! A free spirit by nature, you just want to run out and take the biggest bite out of life that you can. You are hungry for new experiences to live and to share. I know that you have so many wonderful plans for your life and I also know that you are in a hurry to get started. But before you run off, I want to share a few things with you. Don’t do anything without taking God with you! I know that you feel His presence with you, you always have but you tend to want to go before Him and at times without Him…DON’T DO IT!!! He only wants to guide you to the best places and people for you. He longs to give you everything your heart desires, just trust Him ok.


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2014 Dear Younger Me Campaign: Open Letter to Chrisselle…

Dear 15 year old Chrisselle,

I know what you’re going through, and I know it’s hard but I’ve got some things to tell you so please just listen. Don’t lock yourself in your room and ignore me, or write in your diary that nobody gets it, because I do. I really, really do.

You think that you need to grow up already, you think that you need to have lots of friends so that you’re not lonely, you think you need to be in a relationship so that you’re not alone and you feel like you don’t fit in… anywhere, never mind your clothes. You think you need all these things just to be happy, but trust me you don’t.

All you need to be happy is self-belief, true friends, real family and determination to make your dreams come true – because believe me you can. Heck, you already HAVE. If you only knew where you’re going to be in six years then you would laugh at what your thoughts on the world are at this moment.

You’re probably thinking to yourself “Yeah, well that’s great. But I don’t have any of THAT either!” well, honey, you’re wrong. You have some of the best friends that you could ever wish for, sometimes it may not feel like that, but trust me they are. They have their own stuff going on too, but that doesn’t mean that they’re not there for you or that they don’t love the bones of you. AS for family, every family has drama but as you get older you’re going to discover who is really there for you and who isn’t, and those who stick by you are some of the best human beings on this planet.

In a few years you’re going to meet people who are going to change your life, at times it won’t feel like it’s for the best, but in the long term it is. They’re going to make you stronger, wiser and braver than you ever thought you could be. You’re going to use these qualities to change other people’s lives and I guarantee you that that will be the best feeling in the world.

You’ll find love and loss love as you grow, but those people will impact your life in ways you never thought possible. Then one day when you think that you’re fine on your own, you’re going to meet someone who you never thought could exist. He’s perfect in every single way, and he’ll become your best friend, your lover, your rock and more importantly your future.

My message to you is to stop stressing just now. Enjoy these years of your life because soon you’ll be facing all the stresses of adulthood and wishing for these problems instead. Life gets better when you start living it, so start. You’re alive but you’re not living, that’s the only change you need to make right now. Make that change and everything else will follow.

Also, I love you. Mum loves you. Dad loves you. Your siblings love you. You’re going to find out that your best friend has been beside you since you were born in the shape of your annoying big sister.

Yours Faithfully,
Chrisselle Mowatt
22 years old.

P.S. Stop thinking you’re ugly, worthless and need to make changes to your looks. You’re beautiful.

2014 Dear Younger Me Campaign: Open Letter to LaShawn…

Dear Younger Me,

There are some many things that I know now that I wish I had knew when I was younger. Maybe I did but because I was being a stubborn little girl I failed to pay attention to things that I was being told by my mom or other adults in my life. You see yes I didnt grow up with my dad but I wish I would have understood that it shouldn’t have changed how I looked at other men or boys at the time. Here is just a few things that I wish I knew then.

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2014 Dear Younger Me Campaign: Open Letter to Ashley…

Dear Ashley,

Did you know once you are an adult that you will have responsibilities that aren’t even fun! What comes with responsibilities is hard work. With hard work comes deadlines… With deadlines comes expectations… With expectations comes stress…You’ll do a lot of this throughout your life until you fully cast all your cares and worries to God in 2012.

Baby Ashley 🙂

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2014 Dear Younger Me Campaign: FAQs


We’ve received different questions regarding our 2014 Campaign: Dear Younger Me (DYM) and we’re excited you’re curious about it!

-What’s the point of writing a letter to my younger me?

Sharing your open letter with others builds courage. It’s really a selfless action when you think about it. It can provide an outlet for discussions that may not occur any other time because you may be not want to share something like this with those close to you. It also allows you to reflect on your past and see the progress you’ve made since then. Great right!?

-What’s the campaign about?

This campaign was provided to offer a platform for women from all walks of life, ages, races, regions and so forth to share their story through their personal letter. It will allow us to connect with one another on a personal level if that is something you desire and would like to get out of this. Sharing your struggles, setbacks, downfalls, issues, great memories, lessons learned that will encourage younger girls or other women is what this is all about. Do you have the courage to set yourself free from your past? Are you willing to encourage a young girl to wait? Are you willing to stand up for what you believe in now in order to motivate someone else?

-How can I participate?

Go to our original post 2014 Campaign: Dear Younger Me and leave your information in the box where it asks you if you’re interested in participating in our campaign. [Below is an EXAMPLE of what it will look like. It is NOT the actual space but a photo].


Have any other questions, please leave them below in the reply box or you can email us @ mentoringyg@gmail.com

Can’t wait to read your letters!